考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2011年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As this cartoon has shown, there are two people, sitting on the boat, enjoying the scenery and littering rubbish into the river, which they pollute the water environment. This cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect environment is an issue that requires great attention in our lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking, but two points of this shouldn’t be overlooked . On the one hand,while certain Chinese tradition may be outdated, but the virtue of protecting environment is one that should never Lose its luster, as it is crucial corconconcerstone for creating well-being living and boosting the economy of travelling industry. On the other hand, neglecting the awareness of protecting environment is like a heavy chain that causes environment pollution and even arouse the rate of Lung disease.

How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervison and issuing relevant regulation. But Would these measures be comprehensively enough? In reality, we also need to stremhen the guiding role of the media in public opinion.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：they pollute

批改：表达混乱，可改为pollutes

原文：protect

批改：要用 动名词作主语，改为protecing

原文：As this cartoon has shown, there are two people, sitting on the boat, enjoying the scenery and littering rubbish into the river, which they pollute the water environment. This cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect environment is an issue that requires great attention in our lives and in society.

批改：描绘图标内容，指出环保问题，注意个别语法问题

原文：but

批改：while和but表示虽然但是，不能连用，应删除

原文：Lose

批改：小写

原文：corconconcerstone

批改：cornerstone

原文：well-being living

批改：幸福生活应该用 a well-being life

原文：travelling industry

批改：旅游业用 tourism industry

原文：tradition

批改：要用复数 traditions

原文：crucia

批改：前面要加冠词a

原文：Lung

批改：小写

原文：arouse

批改：与前面causes形式 一致，应改为 arouses

原文：environment

批改：要用形容词 environmental

原文：environment

批改：要用形容词 environmental

原文：supervison

批改：supervision

原文：regulation

批改：要用复数 regulations

原文：Would

批改：小写

原文：comprehensively

批改：这里要用形容词，去掉ly

原文：stremhen

批改：strengthen

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking, but two points of this shouldn’t be overlooked . On the one hand,while certain Chinese tradition may be outdated, but the virtue of protecting environment is one that should never Lose its luster, as it is crucial corconconcerstone for creating well-being living and boosting the economy of travelling industry. On the other hand, neglecting the awareness of protecting environment is like a heavy chain that causes environment pollution and even arouse the rate of Lung disease.

批改：从正反两面论证了环保的意义和环境污染的危害，注意拼写和语法问题

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhancing supervison and issuing relevant regulation. But Would these measures be comprehensively enough? In reality, we also need to stremhen the guiding role of the media in public opinion.

批改：提出了解决方案，最后好像没写完，加一句“只有这样我们才能全面实现环境保护”之类的，这样会更完整，另外注意拼写和单复数问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/20

题目要求：对漫画内容描绘全面，个人观点及论述内容符合题意，结尾可以再完善下；

语言表达：全文用了较多的经典句式，但语法错误和拼写错误也较多，导致内容表达上不够流畅清晰。如果目前还不能准确使用例句，也可以尝试用自己的语言表达，提高下语法水平；

行文逻辑：第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点，第二段展开详细论述，第三段给出解决方案，整体架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；优化结尾内容；继续积累经典句式；提高单词拼写的准确性；

同学还有进步的空间，继续努力啊~

本文展示的2011年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。