考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2016年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一大作文高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a father watching TV and smoking , demanding his son to study hard . On the contrary, in the right-hand picture ,a father is studying hard with his son.

Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is the spirit of to be a example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, the spirit of to be a example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.What is more, the example set by parents can ignites our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

In brief, the spirit of to be an example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality.Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious society.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left-hand picture, there is a father watching TV and smoking , demanding his son to study hard . On the contrary, in the right-hand picture ,a father is studying hard with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is the spirit of to be a example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.

批改：你对漫画的对比描述非常简洁到位。段尾使用强调句型点明主旨，结构很好

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, the spirit of to be a example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.What is more, the example set by parents can ignites our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

批改：本段从“塑造民族性格”和“促进个人成长”两个层面论证，视野开阔，逻辑清晰。将“以身作则”视为“关键组成部分”，立意很高。

原文：ef, the spirit of to be an example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality.Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious societ

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次点明核心观点。使用“catalyst”（催化剂）这个词是本文的亮点之一。发出的倡议也很积极

原文：s can ignites

批改：can ignites -> can ignite (情态动词后接动词原形)

原文： a exam

批改：a example -> an example (注意元音音素开头的单词前使用冠词"an")

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议

同学，你的这篇作文完成得相当不错！结构严谨，论述的层次感也很好。

为你提供几个小建议，希望能助你取得更高分数：

掌握核心表达：“以身作则”或“树立榜样”的地道英文表达是 set an example 或 lead by example。请务必掌握这个核心短语的用法，这在家庭教育类话题中非常常用。

注重语法细节：请留意情态动词后的动词形式等基础语法点，确保语言的准确性。

保持立意优势：你从民族性格和个人发展角度进行论证，视野开阔，请继续保持这个优点。

本文展示的2016年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一大作文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。