想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2013年考研英语二批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

Given is a column chart, clearly presenting the percentage breakdown of students’ part-time job situations in an university from one to four grades. Seniors takes the lead at a 88.24%. The percentage difference between sophomores and juniors is not significant, counting for 71.13% and 71.93%. The proportion of freshmen is the least, but reached 67.77%.

Such statistics apperently can be assonciated with the majority of the university students inclined to take a part-time job. As the large propostion of it, Seniors are facing the graduation. They need some experience of part-time jobs and intership to exercise their ability, which is conducive to deliver a desired offer after graduation. Maybe the students from other grades also out of this reason. In my submission, students from low grades could find out what is their genuine hobby through different kinds of part-time jobs. So I think this is also one of the reasons why they actively do part-time jobs.

The period of university serves as a transitional stag from school to entering society. Students can indeed exercise themselves and strengthen proffesional skills through part-time jobs. At the same time, universities should provide guidance and guarantees in employment.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：an

批改：“university” 以辅音音素开头，应为 “a university”

原文：from one to four grades

批改：表达不规范，应为 “freshman to senior year”

原文：Seniors takes the lead at a 88.24%

批改：“Seniors” 为复数，应为 “take”，百分数前不加冠词，删去 a

原文：counting for

批改：用词错误，应为 “accounting for”

原文：the least

批改：形容比例 “最低” 应为 “the lowest”

原文：reached

批改：前文为一般现在时，应为 “reaches”

原文：Given is a column chart, clearly presenting the percentage breakdown of students’ part-time job situations in an university from one to four grades. Seniors takes the lead at a 88.24%. The percentage difference between sophomores and juniors is not significant, counting for 71.13% and 71.93%. The proportion of freshmen is the least, but reached 67.77%.

批改：描述了图表内容，符合题目要求

原文：apperently

批改：拼写错误，应为 “apparently”

原文：assonciated

批改：拼写错误，应为 “associated”

原文：the majority of the university students

批改：多余定冠词，应为 “the majority of university students”

原文：propostion

批改：拼写错误，应为 “proportion”

原文：As the large propostion of it,

批改：语义混乱，应为 “Among them, seniors have the highest proportion”

原文：S

批改：逗号后首字母小写

原文：the

批改：删去

原文：intership

批改：拼写错误，应为 “internships”

原文：exercise their ability

批改：搭配有问题，应为 “enhance their practical abilities”

原文： conducive to deliver

批改：语法错误（“to” 为介词，后接动名词，应为 “conducive to securing”）

原文：Maybe the students from other grades also out of this reason.

批改：缺少谓语动词（应为 “Maybe students from other grades also do so for this reason”）

原文：low grades

批改：表达不规范，应为 “lower grades”

原文：what is their genuine hobby

批改：语序错误（宾语从句应为陈述语序，“what their genuine hobbies are”)

原文：hobby

批改：应为复数 “hobbies”

原文：Such statistics apperently can be assonciated with the majority of the university students inclined to take a part-time job. As the large propostion of it, Seniors are facing the graduation. They need some experience of part-time jobs and intership to exercise their ability, which is conducive to deliver a desired offer after graduation. Maybe the students from other grades also out of this reason. In my submission, students from low grades could find out what is their genuine hobby through different kinds of part-time jobs. So I think this is also one of the reasons why they actively do part-time jobs.

批改：逻辑有点混乱，不知道提出了几个观点，建议使用一些明显的连接词，将观点清晰的分类。

原文：stag

批改：拼写错误，应为 “stage”

原文：from school to entering society

批改：平行结构不一致，应为 “from school to society”

原文：proffesional

批改：拼写错误，应为 “professional”

原文：in employment

批改：搭配不当，应为 “on employment”

原文：The period of university serves as a transitional stag from school to entering society. Students can indeed exercise themselves and strengthen proffesional skills through part-time jobs. At the same time, universities should provide guidance and guarantees in employment.

批改：结尾升华主题，符合结尾段的内容以及结构

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9

这篇图表分析文围绕 “大学生兼职参与率” 展开，框架清晰，能准确捕捉 “年级越高，兼职参与率越高” 的核心趋势，且结合不同年级学生的需求分析原因，具备一定的逻辑性。但存在较多影响专业性和流畅度的问题：一是拼写错误频发（如 “apperently”“assonciated”“proffesional” 等），语法细节失误（主谓不一致、冠词错误、语序不当等）；二是表达不规范（如 “one to four grades”“low grades”）、用词精准度不足（如 “exercise their ability”“guarantees”）。加强单词拼写以及固定搭配的背诵。希望继续努力，加油！

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