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考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

2013年考研英语一大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例,配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签,适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练,是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are some graduates standing in a crossroad and making their different choices, which include four sections, such as looking for jobs,taking part in the postgraduate entrance examination,going abroad,and stating a business.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges,the ability of making correct choices has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people,and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more,a suitable choice can ignite our positiveness and creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self- consuming.

In brief,choosing a suitable path positively is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations,and create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are some graduates standing in a crossroad and making their different choices, which include four sections, such as looking for jobs,taking part in the postgraduate entrance examination,going abroad,and stating a business

批改:错误:① 固定搭配错误(“在十字路口” 用 at a crossroads,crossroads 常用复数形式);② 用词不当(sections 指 “部分、章节”,此处表 “选择类型” 用 types 更合适);③ 拼写错误(stating a business 改为 starting a business,“创业” 固定表达);④ 标点错误(并列短语间逗号需规范,jobs 后、examination 后、abroad 后加空格)。 修改:As shown in the cartoon, there are some graduates standing at a crossroads and making different choices, which include four types: looking for jobs, taking part in the postgraduate entrance examination, going abroad, and starting a business.

原文:the ability of making correct choices has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people,and its significance has become increasingly evident

批改:错误:① 固定搭配错误(the ability of making 改为 the ability to make,“做某事的能力” 常用 ability to do);② 并列名词顺序稍显混乱(changes, chances and challenges 调整为 changes, challenges and opportunities,“机遇” 用 opportunities 比 chances 更正式,符合议论文语境);③ 标点优化(society 后加逗号,使句子节奏更清晰)。 修改:First and foremost, in modern society, which is full of changes, challenges and opportunities, the ability to make correct choices has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

原文:What is more,a suitable choice can ignite our positiveness and creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self- consuming

批改:错误:① 标点缺失(What is more 后逗号需加空格);② 拼写错误(self- consuming 改为 self-consuming,连字符连接,“自我消耗的”);③ 用词稍显生硬(positiveness 改为 enthusiasm,“热情” 更贴合 “点燃” 的搭配,语义更自然)。 修改:What is more, a suitable choice can ignite our enthusiasm and creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, and thus make life rewarding and meaningful rather than self-consuming.

原文:In brief,choosing a suitable path positively is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit

批改:错误:① 冗余修饰(positively 与前文 “suitable path” 语义重复,选择合适的道路本身就是积极的,删除 positively 更简洁);② 逻辑顺序调整(societal and personal 改为 personal and societal,“个人发展” 在前,“社会发展” 在后,符合 “个人影响社会” 的逻辑)。 修改:In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for personal and societal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

原文:Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice

批改:错误:指代模糊(this practice 未明确指代 “选择合适道路”,需补充具体内容,使表达更清晰)。 修改:Therefore, we should actively encourage everyone to choose a suitable path for themselves.

原文:.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential,fulfill our aspirations,and create a happier life.

批改:表达不错,加油

原文:the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改:表达不错,加油

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:17/20

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