正在备考考研英语的你，是否还在为2016年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁？本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文，系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评，你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

As is vividly illustrated in the cartoon above，in front of us sit a son and a farther，excited as well as ambitious。The father says that you should study hard to his son。On the contrary，the father studies with his son。The primary intention of the drawing is to remind us accompanying is so significant that the phenomenon deserves the highest attention and consideration。

There are plenty of elements to account for my viewpoint。Firstly，definitely no one can defy such an obvious fact that accompanying with children plays a vital role in him personal growth。Scondly， the majority of individuals maintain that accompanying will provide they children with a broader platform to enhance children，which may put them in a beneficial position in the future。Thirdly，if we ignored the importance of accompanying，we would never become a better version of ourselves。

All in all，it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that enough attention must be paid to accompanying with children by ourselves and our community。In this way，hopefully，we may have a better future

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：arther，

批改：father

原文：excited as well as ambitious

批改：与漫画内容不符。左图孩子神态是 “愁眉苦脸”，并非兴奋 / 有野心

原文：The father says that you should study hard to his son

批改：The father tells his son to ‘study hard

原文：。

批改：英文句号 下文同改

原文：y intention of the drawing is to remind us accompanying is so significant that the phenomenon deserves the highest attention and consideration。 There are plenty of elements to account for my viewpoint。Firstly，definitely no one can defy such an obvious fact that accompanying with children plays a vital role in him personal growth。Scondly， the majority of individuals maintain that accompanying will provide they children with a broader platform to enhance children，which may put them in a beneficial position in the future。Thirdly，if we ignored the importance of accompanying，we would never become a better version of ourselves。 All in all，it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that enough attention must be paid to accompanying with children by ourselves and our community。In this way，hopefully，we may have a better future

批改：漫画核心是 “以身作则”，非单纯 “陪伴” setting a good example for children is of great significance

原文：account for

批改：support

原文：ccompanying with

批改：“accompany” 是及物动词，直接接宾语 删去 “with”

原文：im

批改：their

原文：Scondly

批改：Secondly

原文： they

批改：their

原文：enhance children

批改：表意不明。可改为enhance children’s learning motivation and self-discipline

原文：accompanying with

批改：同上

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：5/20

1.题目要求：字数符合题目要求。文章内容与要求有些偏离，往“正面榜样和负面榜样”靠会更好。

2.语言表达：语言表达清晰。较多地方在语法运用和单词拼写上还有提升空间，要多留意这部分细节。

3.修改意见：建议考生在动笔前注意漫画内容，无论是对话还是下面的文字标注都是极为重要的。然后再提炼核心内容。考生在动笔前最好打个草稿，将自己的想法写下来，时刻观察内容和思路是否与题目有偏离。

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