启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一写作冲刺备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are couple, throughing rubbish into the river and a man rowing a bot which the river has full of rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment polluted is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant、 First and foremost, environment question make people living environment not living than before, which it make some people fall ill. What is more, the green water and mountain is gold mountain. The great environment is consist of the fast development of country.

How can we put an end to the problem of enviorment polluted? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including goveronment manging firm and decreasing rubbish But would these measures be comprehensive enough? It reality, we also need to aware of protect environment. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle. the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are couple, throughing rubbish into the river and a man rowing a bot which the river has full of rubbish.

批改：存在多处错误。“there are couple”表述错误，应是“there is a couple”；“throughing”拼写错误，应为“throwing”；“bot”拼写错误，应是“boat”；“which the river has full of rubbish”句式杂糅，可改为“and the river is full of rubbish”。

原文：Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment polluted is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：“environment polluted”表述错误，应是“environmental pollution”。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant、

批改：“serveral”拼写错误，应为“several”；“significant”后面的顿号使用错误，在英文中应用句号。

原文：First and foremost, environment question make people living environment not living than before, which it make some people fall ill.

批改：“make”形式错误；“living environment not living”表述混乱，应是“living environment worse”；“which it make”句式杂糅，可改为“which makes”。

原文：What is more, the green water and mountain is gold mountain.

批改：此句想表达绿水青山就是金山银山，没有语法问题

原文：The great environment is consist of the fast development of country.

批改：“is consist of”表述错误，应是“consists of”；“country”应改为“the country”。此句想表达好环境与国家发展的关系，但错误影响语义。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of enviorment polluted?

批改：“enviorment”拼写错误，应为“environment”；“polluted”使用错误，应是“pollution”。

原文：It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including goveronment manging firm and decreasing rubbish

批改：“goveronment”拼写错误，应为“government”；“manging”拼写错误，应为“managing”；“firm”使用不当，可改为“strictly”；句子缺少谓语动词，可改为“including the government managing strictly and reducing rubbish”。

原文：But would these measures be comprehensive enough?

批改：此句对前面提出的措施提出疑问，逻辑较清晰

原文：It reality, we also need to aware of protect environment. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle. the issue at its core.

批改：“It reality”表述错误，应是“In reality”；“need to aware of”缺少动词原形，应是“need to be aware of”；“protect environment”应改为“protecting the environment”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20

题目要求：题目要求描述漫画、解释其意图并给出评论，作文有尝试涵盖这三个方面。开篇描述了漫画中的场景，中间部分阐述了环境问题带来的影响，试图解释漫画意图，结尾提出解决环境问题的措施并发表评论。

语言表达：整体有一定的表达逻辑，使用了如“First and foremost”“What is more”等连接词来尝试使文章层次分明。文中多处出现拼写错误，如“throughing”“serveral”“enviorment”“goveronment”“manging”等。存在主谓不一致（“environment question make”）、句式杂糅（“which it make”）等多种语法问题，导致句子结构混乱，表意不清晰。

内容层面：能够围绕环境问题展开讨论，涉及到了环境问题对人们生活环境的影响以及与国家发展的关系，还提出了解决环境问题的措施，有一定的内容广度。

修改建议：学习并掌握常见的语法规则，多进行语法练习，在写作时注意句子的主谓一致、时态正确以及句式结构的合理性。认真核对每一个单词的拼写。积累丰富的词汇量，根据语境选择合适的词汇，避免使用不熟悉或不恰当的词汇。加油！

考研英语一写作冲刺写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。