作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一作文模板常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

The picture depicts that two tourist are taking a relaxing boat trip around the lake. The lake is filled with rubbish, but the tourists are still throwing junk into the lake. At the bottom of the picture is a caption,l"the remains of the trip".

This picture is a satire of tourists" uncivilized behavior which ruins the environment. But what is the reason of this phenomenon? It is because tourists fail to realize the significance of the preservation of environment. In their view, they are just the tourists enjoying the scenery and don"t need take the responsiblility for the environment .If everyone doesn"t care about the preservation of environment, the earth will turn into a big garbage dump.

To arevent this phenomen from happening, we must take action before it"s too late. Above all, we are supposed to realize the importance of environment protection and begin with small things such as throwing the garbage into the transh bin. Last but not least, the government should make laws of environment. If all of us take actions, the world will be better and better.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：tourist

批改：tourists

原文：of

批改：for

原文：phenomen

批改：phenomenon

原文：arevent

批改： ​​prevent​​

原文：transh

批改：​​trash

原文：need take

批改：don’t need to take responsibility

原文：make laws of environment

批改：中式表达enact ​​laws on environmental protection​​

原文：actions

批改：单数，take action

原文：The picture depicts that two tourist are taking a relaxing boat trip around the lake. The lake is filled with rubbish, but the tourists are still throwing junk into the lake. At the bottom of the picture is a caption,l"the remains of the trip".

批改：开头清晰简洁

原文：This picture is a satire of tourists" uncivilized behavior which ruins the environment. But what is the reason of this phenomenon? It is because tourists fail to realize the significance of the preservation of environment. In their view, they are just the tourists enjoying the scenery and don"t need take the responsiblility for the environment .If everyone doesn"t care about the preservation of environment, the earth will turn into a big garbage dump.

批改：词句丰富

原文：To arevent this phenomen from happening, we must take action before it"s too late. Above all, we are supposed to realize the importance of environment protection and begin with small things such as throwing the garbage into the transh bin. Last but not least, the government should make laws of environment. If all of us take actions, the world will be better and better.

批改：good

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语动词和状语从句很棒；

3.建议加入逻辑连接词，使内容更为连贯；

4.文章原创度很高，很多句型和词汇都是自己写的，值得鼓励。同时要多学习老师讲的写作逻辑和词句，取长补短，减少失误，加油！

读完本文，你对2011年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一作文模板写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握？启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包，包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测，在线咨询即可免费领取。