历年考研英语大作文命题往往聚焦社会、经济、文化与教育等核心话题。本文精解的2016年考研英语二真题，正是考研英语写作冲刺常考方向中的代表题。透过启航老师逐段批注，可帮助考生建立稳定的写作思路。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

This is a pie chart that clearly illustrates the striking contrasts

in purposes of students" traveling in a certain university. Appreciating landscapes ranks the largest proportion,accounting for 37%. Then, the next is relieving pressure,with33%. Finally, come aim of making more friends and cultivating independence, at 9% and 6% respectively.

At least three causes can be responsible for these differences Firstly, college students are best characterized for by their strong curiosity for the mysterious nature, which enables them to choose traveling as an approach to enjoy and explore the natural beauty. Secondly, compared with other tourists, youngsters in college usually suffer more burdens in academic study and traveling is an idealistic way to release stress. Finally, traveling frequently brings them opportunities to know more people , arouses their enthusiasm for the outside world and helps them to cultivate independence.

As a college student, I am convinced that it is of great necessity for every youngster to enjoy their traveling. Meanwhile, it is essential for these young travelers to pay attention to their safety in trips.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：with33

批改："with33%" 应改为 "with 33%"，数字前需加空格

原文：inally, come aim

批改：Finally, come aim of..." 句式存在主谓不一致，建议改为 "Finally, the aims of..." 或 "This is followed by the aims of..."。

原文：s is a pie chart that clearly illustrates the striking contrasts in purposes of students" traveling in a certain university. Appreciating landscapes ranks the largest proportion,accounting for 37%. Then, the next is relieving pressure,with33%. Finally, come aim of making more friends and cultivating independence, at 9% and 6% respectively.

批改：图表描述段完成了任务，数据准确

原文：can be responsible for the

批改："...can be responsible for these differences Firstly..." 此处缺少标点，应为 "...these differences. Firstly..."。

原文： characterized

批改："are best characterized for by" 搭配错误且冗余，建议简化为 "are characterized by" 或 "are known for"。

原文：least three causes can be responsible for these differences Firstly, college students are best characterized for by their strong curiosity for the mysterious nature, which enables them to choose traveling as an approach to enjoy and explore the natural beauty. Secondly, compared with other tourists, youngsters in college usually suffer more burdens in academic study and traveling is an idealistic way to release stress. Finally, traveling frequently brings them opportunities to know more people , arouses their enthusiasm for the outside world and helps them to cultivate independence.

批改：本段从三个角度分析原因，思路清晰，且每个原因都能与图表中的具体目的较好地对应，逻辑是成立的。

原文：very youngster t

批改："youngster" 在单数情况下使用尚可，但 "every youngster" 与 "their traveling" 存在单复数代词不一致，建议改为 "youngsters" 或 "students" 以保持统一。

原文： college student, I am convinced that it is of great necessity for every youngster to enjoy their traveling. Meanwhile, it is essential for these young travelers to pay attention to their safety in trips.

批改：给出了评论和建议

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

优点：结构完整，内容要点覆盖全面，逻辑清晰，尝试使用了较复杂的语法结构。

主要失分点：存在几处明显的词汇使用错误（如idealistic）和语法瑕疵，结尾段深度稍显不足。

总评与修改建议：

从描述图表到分析三条原因，再到总结，整个论证过程条理清晰，让人一目了然。这证明你已经掌握了这类作文的“骨架”。

提升用词精准度：对于你在写作中想到的“高级词汇”，如果不确定其确切用法和搭配，宁可选择你百分之百确定的、相对简单的词，以保证准确性。写完后再通读一遍，重点检查动词、形容词的使用是否地道。

深化结尾段：避免过于笼统的建议。可以尝试将观点与大学生活、个人成长更紧密地结合。

为你提供一个结尾段的修改思路，供你参考：

呼吁享受旅行和注意安全。

优化方向：总结旅行的多重价值，并升华主题。

参考表达：

"In conclusion, travel serves multiple purposes for students, from spiritual enrichment to personal growth. By understanding these motivations, we can better appreciate the value of traveling beyond mere leisure, seeing it as an integral part of our education and self-development."

很多考研英语考生都遇到过写作时思路枯竭、句式单一的问题，本文精解的2016年考研英语二范文正是突破这一瓶颈的优质范本。启航教育写作主讲会针对考研英语二常考话题逐一拆解，让考研英语写作冲刺写作变得有迹可循。