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考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

2013年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例,配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签,适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练,是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are a lot of graduators standing towards the options of the life, which contains asking for jons. taking undergraduate exams. going abroad and doing something on their own. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is making a reasonable choice that can exert a great influence both in our personal cives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes、 chances. and moreover challenges, what we choose are important, moreover, perseverance has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, high quality individuals holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

In brief, making suitable choices is the catalyst for societal and personal development. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:hown in the cartoon, there are a lot of graduators standing towards the options of the life, which contains asking for jons. taking undergraduate exams. going abroad and doing something on their own. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is making a reasonable choice that can exert a great influence both in our personal cives and in society.

批改:开篇成功描述了图画场景并引出了核心观点

原文:graduators standing towards the options of the life, which contains asking for jons. taking under

批改:“graduators” 是 “graduates” 的拼写错误。“jons” 是 “jobs” 的拼写错误。“cives” 是 “lives” 的拼写错误。

原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes、 chances. and moreover challenges, what we choose are important, moreover, perseverance has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, high quality individuals holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改:本段的论证视野开阔,能联系到国家发展,很有高度

原文:anges、 chanc

批改:“changes、 chances.” 中使用了中文顿号,应改为英文逗号 “changes, chances”。“what we choose are important” 存在主谓一致问题,主语从句通常被视为单数,应为 “what we choose is important”。“high quality individuals holds” 中,主语是复数,谓语动词应为 “hold”。

原文:ief, making suitable choices is the catalyst for societal and personal development. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题。“catalyst”(催化剂)一词用得尤为精准。排比句的使用也增强了语势,非常出色。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:15

你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分,并成功使用了高级词汇。主要的提升空间在于语法细节的精准度和逻辑衔接的流畅性。

总评与建议:

同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和宏大的论述视角。你不仅能精准描述漫画,还能将个人选择与国家发展相联系,这体现了很强的思维深度和家国情怀,非常难得!

当前,我们可以集中精力提升逻辑衔接的自然度和语言的绝对准确性。你的文章思想和框架都很出色,现在需要让句与句之间的连接更流畅,让语法细节无懈可击。我的核心建议是:

善用逻辑连接词:在切换论点时,有意识地使用 “While...”, “Not only... but also...”, “On the one hand..., on the other hand...” 等连接词,使文章脉络更清晰。

关注语法细节:请特别留意主谓一致和标点符号的规范使用。完成初稿后,快速通读一遍,重点检查这些细节。

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