想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the life-hand cartoon, there is a son, doing his homework and his father is watching TV. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal the father and son both are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good examples are the brush that paints a bright future; while bad examples are the shade that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, good examples can ignite children’s creativity and promote their growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, bad examples are belering chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them negative outlook in their life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, good examples are catalyst for social and children’s development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must actively aware of the detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：life

批改：left

原文：In the life-hand cartoon, there is a son, doing his homework and his father is watching TV. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal the father and son both are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good examples are the brush that paints a bright future; while bad examples are the shade that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

批改：加in

原文：belering

批改：单词拼写错误

批改：加with

原文：in

批改：加on

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, good examples can ignite children’s creativity and promote their growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, bad examples are belering chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them negative outlook in their life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

批改：加be

原文：actively

批改：acutely

原文：In brief, good examples are catalyst for social and children’s development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must actively aware of the detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，注意句子结构的完整；语法方面，注意介词的恰当使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文真题冲刺保驾护航。