据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts breakdown of residents exercise ways at a certain city. Exercising alone takes leat at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%.

Additionally factors such as exercising with family and group activity are also considered accounting for 23.9%, 15.8% respectively.

The core reasons for the abserved phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphong of changes, our government has made a tremendous efforts to build a sound sport system, enabling many residents to exercise alone. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life‘s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immence work pressure, and as a result, exercising with family and friends has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：breakdown

批改：前面加定冠词 “the”

原文：residents

批改：规范所有格 "residents’ "

原文：at a certain city.

批改：改为 “in a certain city”（“在某城市”，固定搭配）

原文：takes leat

批改：“takes leat”（拼写 ，语义混乱）改为 “accounts for the highest proportion”（“占比最高”，结合数据 “54.3%” 明确语义，“accounts for” 为图表作文 “占比” 的核心表达）

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts breakdown of residents exercise ways at a certain city. Exercising alone takes leat at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally factors such as exercising with family and group activity are also considered accounting for 23.9%, 15.8% respectively

批改：描述图表内容，符合题目要求

原文：Additionally

批改：后加逗号

原文：abserved

批改：“observed”（“观察到的”）

原文：a tremendous efforts

批改：“tremendous efforts”（“efforts” 为复数，删除多余冠词 “a”）

原文：immence

批改：“immense”

原文：The core reasons for the abserved phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphong of changes, our government has made a tremendous efforts to build a sound sport system, enabling many residents to exercise alone. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life‘s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immence work pressure, and as a result, exercising with family and friends has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：提出了自己的观点，使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词，条理较为清晰

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11

原文准确识别图表核心（某城市居民锻炼方式的占比分布），搭建了标准考研图表作文框架，但存在一些问题：拼写 / 语法错误频发（“leat”“abserved”“immence”等），写完再整体检查一遍，希望继续努力，加油！

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。