思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2013年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the part-time job situation of students at certain university. The percentage in freshman was 67.17%, but the junior was approximately 71 %. The proportion in senior was 88.24%, it increased approximately by 16% compared with the junior.

The core reasons for the observed phonmenon can be summarized as follows. As the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense job pressure, and as a result, part-time job has became a experience when they graduate from university and search for work. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, working hard and relevent experience of the industry is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion in senior will staadily increase in the following five years. The proportion in fresman and junior will likely continue to remain relatively stable.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：phonmenon

批改：phenomenon

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the part-time job situation of students at certain university. The percentage in freshman was 67.17%, but the junior was approximately 71 %. The proportion in senior was 88.24%, it increased approximately by 16% compared with the junior.

批改：用具体数据描述图表内容，清晰直观，但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象

原文：a

批改：an

原文：The core reasons for the observed phonmenon can be summarized as follows. As the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense job pressure, and as a result, part-time job has became a experience when they graduate from university and search for work. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, working hard and relevent experience of the industry is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文：staadily

批改：steadily

原文：fresman

批改：freshman

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion in senior will staadily increase in the following five years. The proportion in fresman and junior will likely continue to remain relatively stable.

批改：总结全文，升华主题，展望未来，立意深远。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12 /15

这篇文章内容完整充实，结构清晰合理，逻辑严谨，层次分明，句型表达丰富。

语法：语言表达和语法基础上，进步的空间还很大。比如本次作文中出现多次的单词拼写错误等问题，会很拉低你的平均分。另外还需要注意一些基础的语法问题和表达搭配问题，有时间好好看看文中的批改，细心吸收，争取在接下来的练习中避免类似的错误。

内容：从图表中可以看出，大四学生兼职的比例远高于他们的师弟师妹们(这也在情理之中)。所以考生可以在作文的中间段分析为什么大四学生兼职的比例明显高于其他年级。当然，考生也可以给出些建议，诸如兼职虽好，但也要理性选择，否则可能会浪费时间和精力。

整体来看，主要是细节错误，另外要多用自己的语言去进行表达，避免和范文重复，后续继续注重练习，加油！

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2013年考研英语二范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。