进入冲刺阶段，每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例，由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批，已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生，都能从中找到提分灵感。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there is a group of graduates,standing at the crossroads of life and facing four choices,which include looking for jobs,continuing study,going abroad,and starting a business.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is making a suitable choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,making a suitable choice can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding ang meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand,blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief,making a suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：hown in the cartoon,there is a group of graduates,standing at the crossroads of life and facing four choices,which include looking for jobs,continuing study,going abroad,and starting a business.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is making a suitable choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society

批改：开篇段近乎完美。描述简洁全面，主旨句使用了准确的强调句型，清晰地传达了漫画的意图。这是一个非常出色的开头。

原文：henomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,making a suitable choice can ignite our creativity,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding ang meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand,blindly following others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段采用了 “正面论述 + 反面论证” 的对比结构，逻辑非常严密，说服力强。 正面论述部分，逻辑链完整（激发创造力 -> 促进成长 -> 让生活有意义）。 反面论证部分是绝对的亮点。like a heavy chain（沉重的锁链）这个比喻极其生动。后面接续的现在分词结构 depriving... and preventing... 构成了漂亮的排比，层层递进，语言富有感染力。 一个小建议：hinders children"s progress 中的 children 所指范围稍窄，因为漫画主角是“毕业生”。可以考虑替换为 young people"s progress 或 personal growth，使其与全文语境更贴合。当然，现在的写法也完全可以接受。

原文： ang m

批改：ang 是明显的笔误，应为 and

原文：rief,making a suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspiratio

批改：结尾段简短有力，再次点题，

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16

主要优点：

结构完美：经典的三段式，起承转合自然流畅，段落功能明确。

论证出色：第二段的正反对比论证是最大亮点，逻辑严密，思辨性强，极具说服力。

语言娴熟：能够准确、灵活地运用高级词汇（catalyst, self-fulfillment, depriving）、复杂句型（强调句、倒装句、分词作状语）和修辞手法（比喻、排比），文采斐然。

内容切题：始终紧扣“做出合适选择”的重要性展开，内容充实，衔接自然。

核心提升点：

唯一需要做的就是避免笔误，比如这次出现的 ang。在考场上留出几分钟检查，就能完全避免这类小问题。

专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务，针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后，欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育，享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。