本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various purposes of travelling among students at a certain university. Enjoying the scenery takes the lead at 37%, followed by relieving stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating independence and other purposes are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a harmonious ecological system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for enjoying the scenery through travelling. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result travelling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time to relieve stress. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various purposes of travelling among students at a certain university.

批改：准确概括了图表的内容，即展示大学学生旅行目的的百分比分布，表述清晰直接

原文：Enjoying the scenery takes the lead at 37%, followed by relieving stress at 33%.

批改：具体说明了图表中占比最高的两个旅行目的及对应比例

原文：Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating independence and other purposes are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%, respectively.

批改：进一步阐述了图表中其他旅行目的及比例，“respectively”使用恰当，完整呈现了图表信息。

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.

批改：自然引出对图表现象原因的分析，使文章结构更清晰。

原文：To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a harmonious ecological system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for enjoying the scenery through travelling.

批改：使用了形象的比喻“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”，生动形象

原文： In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present."

批改：引用俗语增添了文采

原文：Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result travelling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time to relieve stress.

批改：分析了学生因学业压力大而选择旅行减压的原因，逻辑合理

原文：Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：总结前文原因，得出图表现象合理的结论，使原因分析部分有完整收尾。

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：对未来趋势的预测合理

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/15

题目要求：开篇对图表进行了清晰解读，明确指出饼状图展示了大学学生不同旅行目的的百分比分布情况，并依次阐述了欣赏风景、缓解压力、结交朋友、培养独立能力等旅行目的的具体占比。随后，文章对图表所呈现的现象给出了评论，分析了原因并对未来趋势进行了预测。

语言表达：使用了一些较为丰富的词汇，如“percentage breakdown”“orchestrating the symphony of changes”“tremendous efforts”等，运用了多种句式，包括陈述句、疑问句等，使文章在句式上有所变化，避免了单调。

内容层面：文章内容较为完整，既对图表进行了详细解读，又分析了图表现象的原因，还对未来趋势进行了预测，涵盖了题目要求的各个方面。

修改建议：在运用比喻等修辞手法时，要确保其与论述内容有紧密合理的逻辑联系，避免为了追求生动而使表达变得牵强。继续保持！

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