本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2013年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注，对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则，你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the changes of students taking part-time jobs at a certain university. In freshman universit year, the percentage of students taking part-time jobs was 67.7%. But in the senior year, the percentage was experienced a significant increase to 88.24%.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development，the younger generation partrcularly those bom in the 1990s to 2000s, are accustomed to taking part-time jobs to satisfy their living needs In addition ，as the saying goes," On life"s stage，pressure is always present."Nowdays, university students are compelled to confront immerse economic pressure ，and as a result, taking part-time jobs has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time, Considening these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the propertion of students taking part-time jobs is a clear sign of social improvemenl and will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：of

批改：此处要注意 不是学生的改变，是占比人数的改变，改为 of the proportion of

原文：freshman universit

批改：注意 university 的拼写，但此处改为 the freshman 即可

原文：67.7%

批改：改为 67.77%，与图片数字保持一致

原文：was

批改：此处的动词为 experienced, 删去 was,

批改：首段要将图表内容表达完整，不能只写大一和大四

原文： reason

批改：下列不只是一个原因，改为复数形式 reasons

原文：generation

批改：加逗号

原文：partrcularly

批改：particularly

原文：bom

批改：born

原文：needs

批改：加句号

原文：,

批改：此处为句号

批改：内容和句式表达都不错

原文：propertion

批改：proportion

批改：结尾段的预测很合理，表达也很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，原因分析与图表的内容都是切合的

语言表达：存在一些拼写和语法错误，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体，但是首段图表的描写一定要完整

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心 3. 标点使用要规范 4. 首段图表的描写一定要完整。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，尽量多用自己的语言来写，总的来说写的不错，加油！

读懂范文只是第一步，写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务，由资深讲师逐句点评，让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考，从一篇专业批改开始。