考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2011年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二写作冲刺话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in market share of certain brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009.In 2008,the percentage of was approximately 25% but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously,about the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady .

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with,in the wake of high-speed advancement of society. people’s attitudes towards domestic cars have undergoing significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose domestic cars rather than choose cars from other countries. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the significant progress was made by China’s automotive industry in responding to these changes, Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon, in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast,the proportion of Japanese and American brands will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：from 2008 to 2009

批改：分别在两年的数据，用in 2008 and 2009比较好

原文：the percentage of

批改：对象漏掉了，应该是domestic brands吧

原文：by

批改：in

原文：rate

批改：比例用proportion

原文：about

批改：删去

原文：and steady

批改：累赘，删去一个

原文：have undergoing

批改：完成时态表达错误，应当是have undergone

原文：choose

批改：这里不需要再重复一个动词

原文：,

批改：这里不需要逗号

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

1.题目要求：基本做到“解读图表 + 评论”，但细节不足。字数略少，套话较多，有效信息密度不高。

2.语言表达：基础错误较多，比如单词拼写、时态、标点符号等。

3.行文逻辑：三段齐全，但第二段原因泛而不专，且与数据的逐项因果不清。

4.改进建议：考生应正视自己在语法和句意表达上的不足，应结合范文仔细剖析语言结构，做到模板应用的最优化。在行文方面应该紧扣论点，可以尝试将个人想法以中文呈现，再去用合适的/高级的英语词汇和语法进行润色。任重道远，请继续加油!

如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数，可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时，启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名，在线咨询可获考研英语二写作冲刺高分资料礼包。