当你坐在考研英语一考场，面对2017年大作文题目的那一瞬间，是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章？本文这篇批改例文，正是考研英语一写作技巧话题下的标准范本，适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left hand picture, there is a man lying in the chair, and thinking he owns a lot of books, but never reads them. On the contrary, there is a student says he would try to finish 20 books this year. The topic of two pictures is having books and reading books.

Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that reading books and making some precise plans for it is much better than just having them but never doing anything else.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, no matter what we do, only focus on superficial side would be atoxic action to ourselves, which would make us be deceived by fake feeling. What is more, doing our missions step by step plays an important and positive role in our personal lives.

In brief, doing everything step by step is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote this pratice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of focusing on superficial side, which just like having books on the shelf to ensure our growth stays on right direction.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left hand picture, there is a man lying in the chair, and thinking he owns a lot of books, but never reads them. On the contrary, there is a student says he would try to finish 20 books this year. The topic of two pictures is having books and reading books.

批改： 你对图画的描述非常清晰，直接点出了两者的本质区别。第二段对寓意的总结也很准确，直击要害。

原文：here is a studen

批改：“there is a student says...” 存在语法错误，两个动词不能直接连用。可以改为 “there is a student who says...” 或者更简洁的 “a student says...”

原文：dently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that reading books and making some precise plans for it is much better than just having them but never doing anything else. This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, no matter what we do, only focus on superficial side would be atoxic action to ourselves, which would make us be deceived by fake feeling. What is more, doing our missions step by step plays an important and positive role in our personal lives.

批改：本段从“避免肤浅”和“逐步行动”两个角度展开，思路是正确的。特别是能想到“被虚假感觉欺骗”这一点，体现了你的思考深度。

原文：only focus on superficial sid

批改：only focus on superficial side would be...” 这个句子缺少主语，动词短语不能直接作主语。可以改为 “Focusing only on the superficial side is a toxic action...”。“deceived by fake feeling” 这个推论非常深刻

原文：, doing everything step by step is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote this pratice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of focusing on superficial side, which just like having books on the shelf to ensure our growth stays on right direction.

批改：结尾段成功总结了核心观点，并再次运用图画中的形象（书架上的书）来强化论证，首尾呼应，做得很好。

原文：pratice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of focusing on s

批改：“pratice” 拼写错误，应为 “practice”。“right direction” 前面可以加上 “the”，即 “the right direction”。

原文：which just like having book

批改：“which just like having books...” 这一部分缺少谓语动词，可以改为 “which is just like having books on the shelf”。这样句子就完整了。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总体评分与建议

你的文章最大的优点是立意深刻，结构完整。主要的提升空间在于语言表达的准确性与流畅度，以及让深刻的见解有更坚实的逻辑支撑。

修改建议

夯实句子结构：特别注意一个英语句子必须有且只有一个主谓结构。写完每个句子后，可以自己读一遍，检查其是否完整独立。

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