考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2011年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一写作技巧高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on the boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing garbages into a lake, which severely pollutes the lake. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental is like a heavy chain hinders our nation’s progress, not only hinders its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also affecting its international image and competitiveness. What’s more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its roots cause lies in the fact that individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregard environmental pollution.

How can we put the end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and fostering the quality of environmental protection deliberately. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also to issue related laws. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on the boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing garbages into a lake, which severely pollutes the lake. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：描述漫画内容，揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理，清晰直观。

原文：environmental

批改：environmental protection

原文：hinders

批改：that hinders 补充从句的引导词that

原文：hinders

批改：hindering 用非谓语形式

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental is like a heavy chain hinders our nation’s progress, not only hinders its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also affecting its international image and competitiveness. What’s more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its roots cause lies in the fact that individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregard environmental pollution.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文：the

批改：an

原文：to

批改：need to

原文：How can we put the end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and fostering the quality of environmental protection deliberately. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also to issue related laws. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle at its core.

批改：总结全文，升华主题，展望未来，立意深远。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

作文对漫画的理解到位，写作思路紧扣主题，有些短语句式的表达也不错，基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图，但在以下几方面还需注意：

1.语法：个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺，仔细分析其实句子成分不完整，不符合英语表达方式。

2.细节：作文中有几处比较明显的拼写错误。考试时可以多积累高级词汇，写作文就能用上，但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误，特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。

3.内容：这幅漫画中细节比较多，但最核心的内容比较明确，那就是旅游过程中游客的不恰当行为造成环境污染。该图显示水面上有一艘观光船，两个游客随手乱扔垃圾，水面上漂浮着各种各样的废弃物。很多考生拿到试卷后的第一反应就是写如何保护环境，再细心一点的考生就写成如何保护景区环境。可是，这幅图不仅要强调被破坏的环境，还要强调造成这种环境污染的缘由——游客甚至是人类的不恰当行为。这样表达文章意思才全面。

整体来看，作文理解了漫画内涵，段落框架明确，大体上与题目要求保持一致，但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处，基本是由汉语思维习惯而造成的表达错误，主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当，后续继续注重练习，加油！

本文展示的2011年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。