2023年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一写作冲刺常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目

考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文

The picture vividly illustrates a scene of Dragon Boat Festival.According to the picture,two dragon boats are racing fiercely in the river between the endless mountain ranges.On shores and bridge,a sea of people are indulging in that,which presenting a lively scene,with an elderly couple joyfully chatting,”Wonderful!The dragon boat race in our village is more and more lively!”

This cartoon aims to shed light on the brand new view on China’s new village construction project,outputting the traditional custom’s inheritance and rebirth nowadays.The tremendous scale of crowd not only inclines the emphasis to this tradition activity of modern people,but also demonstrating the resurgent dynamism of folk activities in contemporary society.

From my point of perspective,thus advocating traditional culture has evolved into a prevailing mainstream these days,it’s era for us to make an upgrading difference.We should highlight on its cultural value.To further popularize traditional folk activities, modern modalities such as streaming media and format innovation can be leveraged.Only in this way can we truly make Chinese culture a predominance in the stage of the world in the future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e picture vividly illustrates a scene of Dragon Boat Festival.According to the picture,two dragon boats are racing fiercely in the river between the endless mountain ranges.On shores and bridge,a sea of people are indulging in that,which presenting a lively scene,with an elderly couple joyfully chatting,”Wonderful!The dragon boat race in our village is more and more lively!”

批改：你对图画的描述非常生动，成功营造出了节日热闹、欢快的氛围。使用“racing fiercely", "a sea of people"等表达，画面感很强。

原文：s cartoon aims to shed light on the brand new view on China’s new village construction project,outputting the traditional custom’s inheritance and rebirth nowadays.The tremendous scale of crowd not only inclines the emphasis to this tradition activity of modern people,but also demonstrating the resurgent dynamism of folk activities in contemporary society.

批改：你试图深入挖掘漫画的深层寓意，将主题升华到新农村建设和文化传承，这个视角非常独特且有高度，体现了你很强的思辨能力。

原文：scene of Dragon B

批改：节日名称前需要加定冠词，应为 the Dragon Boat Festival

原文：are indulging in that,which

批改：that 指代不清，可以更具体地说 the exciting race。 which presenting 是一个常见的语法错误，关系代词 which 引导定语从句时，后面需要接谓语动词，应为 which presents。

原文：nd bridge,a

批改：on the shores and bridges，或者更概括地说 on the riverbanks。

原文：on the brand ne

批改：a brand new view 和 this traditional activity。

原文：ot only inclines the emphasis to thi

批改：inclines the emphasis to 搭配不自然，地道的表达是 attests to the emphasis modern people place on...（证明了现代人对...的重视）或 highlights modern people"s growing emphasis on...。 not only... but also... 结构要求前后语法形式一致，前面是 inclines (动词)，后面是 demonstrating (动名词)，不一致。应改为 not only attests to... but also demonstrates...。

原文：om my point of perspective,thus advocating traditional culture has evolved into a prevailing mainstream these days,it’s era for us to make an upgrading difference.We should highlight on its cultural value.To further popularize traditional folk activities, modern modalities such as streaming media and format innovation can be leveraged.Only in this way can we truly make Chinese culture a predominance in the stage of the world in the future.

批改：结尾段提出了具体的建议，并展望了未来，结构完整。特别是提到利用流媒体和创新形式，建议非常与时俱进，很棒。

原文：t’s era for us to mak

批改：it"s era 是错误的，应该是 it is the era 或更常见的 it is time。 make an upgrading difference 是典型的中式英语，可以改为 to elevate it to a new level（将其提升到新水平）或 to make a transformative difference。

原文：e should highlig

批改： 动词 highlight 是及物动词，后面直接接宾语，不需要介词 on，应改为 We should highlight its cultural value.

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的这篇作文最突出的优点是立意高远、视角宏大，能够将具体画面与国家战略、文化传承相联系，这展现了出色的思维深度。

内容与结构：结构完整，论述层层递进，从描述到深层分析再到个人建议，逻辑清晰。

词汇与语法：你积极使用高级词汇和复杂句式的意愿非常强，这是巨大的优势。

衔接与连贯：使用了“Not only... but also...", "Only in this way...”等经典结构，增强了文章的连贯性。

主要失分点在于一些影响精准表达的语法错误、搭配不当和部分中式英语的表达。

总评与修改建议：

追求“精确性”胜过“复杂性”：在选用高级词汇时，务必通过权威例句确认其准确的搭配和使用语境（比如，output 和 highlight 的区别）。有时，一个用词精准的简单句，比一个用词花哨但错误的复杂句得分更高。

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