启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一大作文备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon , this is a man , sitting in the sofa ,watching TV , and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary , in the right-hand portrayal , another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush thar paints a bright future of children , while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant . On the one hand , Positive examples can ignite children’s creativity ,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment , thus making life rewarding and meaningful ,rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand , negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook of life and preventing them from shining brightly in future socity.

In brief , positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit .Therefore ,we should advocate and support being positive examples; additionally , we must be acutely aware detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure our growth stays on courses.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：thar

批改：that

原文：In the left-hand cartoon , this is a man , sitting in the sofa ,watching TV , and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary , in the right-hand portrayal , another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush thar paints a bright future of children , while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：Positive

批改：逗号后单词小写

原文：hinder

批改：hinders

原文：of

批改：on

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant . On the one hand , Positive examples can ignite children’s creativity ,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment , thus making life rewarding and meaningful ,rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand , negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook of life and preventing them from shining brightly in future socity.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

批改：加逗号断句

原文：In brief , positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit .Therefore ,we should advocate and support being positive examples; additionally , we must be acutely aware detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure our growth stays on courses.

批改：该段再次总结强调写作的中心，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误，注意介词的恰当使用；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意从句中谓语的形式正确。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

考研英语一大作文写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。