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考研英语一2023年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2023年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作冲刺话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目

考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a old couple enjoying a dragon-boat competition and saying that our country"s dragon-boat competition is more and more popular amony people. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that Chinese traditional culture that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, some excellent Chinese traditional culture is one that never lose its luster, as it is an essential bone that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. On the other hand, neglecting Chinese traditional culture is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting international image.

In brief, Chinese traditional culture is the cataylst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we build a harmonious society,

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:As shown in the cartoon, there is a old couple enjoying a dragon-boat competition and saying that our country"s dragon-boat competition is more and more popular amony people.

批改:存在语法错误,“a old couple”中不定冠词使用错误,应改为“an”;“amony”拼写错误,应为“among”。句子整体表意较清晰,描述了漫画中老夫妇看龙舟比赛并提及龙舟比赛受欢迎这一现象。

原文:Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that Chinese traditional culture that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改:句子结构混乱,“that Chinese traditional culture that...”存在嵌套定语从句的错误,应改为“that Chinese traditional culture plays an important and positive role...”。表意是想说漫画家传达中国传统文化在个人和社会中起重要作用。

原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

批改:句子表达流畅,起到承上启下作用,引出下文对现象的思考。

原文:On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, some excellent Chinese traditional culture is one that never lose its luster, as it is an essential bone that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.

批改:存在语法错误,“one that never lose its luster”中主谓不一致,应改为“one that never loses its luster”。句子想表达一方面优秀传统文化不会失去光彩。

原文:On the other hand, neglecting Chinese traditional culture is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting international image.

批改:句子表达较流畅,运用比喻手法说明忽视传统文化的危害,表意清晰。

原文:In brief, Chinese traditional culture is the cataylst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

批改:存在拼写错误,“cataylst”应改为“catalyst”。句子想总结中国传统文化对个人和社会发展的作用。

原文:Therefore, we should actively support and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we build a harmonious society,

批改:句子表达清晰,得出应弘扬传统文化以建设和谐社会的结论。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:14/20

题目要求:基本按照题目要求完成了作文。在描述图片方面,提及了漫画中老夫妇观看龙舟比赛以及他们所说龙舟比赛越来越受欢迎的内容,试图对画面进行呈现;在解读寓意时,点明漫画家意图传达中国传统文化在个人和社会中起重要作用;在评论部分,阐述了对传统文化正反两方面的看法并给出弘扬传统文化的建议。整体方向与题目要求相符。

语言表达:部分语句有一定的表现力,例如“neglecting Chinese traditional culture is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress”,运用比喻的修辞手法,将忽视传统文化比作沉重的锁链,形象地说明了忽视传统文化的危害,使表达较为生动。

内容层面:对中国传统文化进行了思考,从正反两个方面阐述了传统文化的作用。一方面指出优秀传统文化不会失去光彩,是民族繁荣的重要支撑;另一方面说明忽视传统文化会阻碍国家发展、影响国际形象,展现出一定的思考深度。

修改建议:仔细检查文章中的语法错误,包括主谓一致、名词单复数、时态、不定冠词使用等,确保句子结构正确。

如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一写作冲刺高分资料礼包。

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