考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2016年考研英语一批改范例，透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质，由启航教育老师逐段精批，可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效,

52. There are two simple but though-provoking drawing. The father ask her son to study hard insted he"s watching TV wrile the other picture both them are study. The information in the graph dearly

shows the words "To be an example instead to request." is what the drawing tries to convey what is signifant to be provoke.

Considering the seriousness of being model, it is necessary to point out the for-reading consequences behind it. First of all, It is so easy to be influenced by having a role model to look up to. Parents was the first teacher to children. as Li Tian, a reacher of psychology, puts it “A role model

to look up to is the first step to success." What"s more, in my perspective, If someone start to work in an environment which is assist him in the sam way as well as target, it will be enthusiasm, that is the power of being an example.Taking all these factors into accunt, we may reach the conclusion that great importance should be attached to play a role instead of requesting.

It’s vital for everyone to faster correet awareness

as well as taking neeessary actions to action as an

example. only in this wal/ should our life become

more and mor brighter and meaningful.

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效

第4页(共4页)

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：There are two simple but though-provoking drawing.

批改：“drawing”应用复数形式“drawings”；“though - provoking”拼写错误，应为“thought - provoking”。

原文：The father ask her son to study hard insted he"s watching TV wrile the other picture both them are study.

批改：“ask”形式错误，主语“the father”是第三人称单数，应用“asks”；“her”错误，儿子应用“his”；“insted”拼写错误，应为“instead”；“wrile”拼写错误，应为“while”；“both them”表述错误，应是“both of them”；“are study”形式错误，应是“are studying”。

原文：The information in the graph dearly shows the words "To be an example instead to request." is what the drawing tries to convey what is signifant to be provoke.

批改：“graph”用词不当，这里用“pictures”更合适；“dearly”错误，应是“clearly”；“instead to request”错误，应是“instead of requesting”；句子结构混乱，“what is signifant to be provoke”表述错误，应是“which is significant to be considered”。

原文：Considering the seriousness of being model, it is necessary to point out the for-reading consequences behind it.

批改：“being model”表述错误，应是“being a model”；“for - reading”拼写错误

原文： First of all, It is so easy to be influenced by having a role model to look up to.

批改：句子整体表意较清晰，但“It”首字母不应大写，因为不在句首。

原文：Parents was the first teacher to children. as Li Tian, a reacher of psychology, puts it “A role model to look up to is the first step to success."

批改：“Parents”是复数，谓语动词“was”错误，应是“are”；“reacher”拼写错误，应是“researcher”

原文：What"s more, in my perspective, If someone start to work in an environment which is assist him in the sam way as well as target, it will be enthusiasm, that is the power of being an example.

批改：“If someone start”错误，“someone”是第三人称单数，应是“starts”；“which is assist”错误，应是“which assists”；“sam”拼写错误，应是“same”；句子整体逻辑和表达混乱。

原文：Taking all these factors into accunt, we may reach the conclusion that great importance should be attached to play a role instead of requesting.

批改：“accunt”拼写错误，应是“account”；“attach to play”错误，应是“attach to playing”。

原文：It’s vital for everyone to faster correet awareness as well as taking neeessary actions to action as an example.

批改：“faster”错误，应是“foster”；“correet”拼写错误，应是“correct”；“taking”形式错误，与前面“to”构成不定式，应是“take”；“action as an example”表述错误，应是“act as an example”。

原文：only in this wal/ should our life become more and mor brighter and meaningful.

批改：“wal/”拼写错误，应是“way”；“mor”拼写错误，应是“more”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/20

题目要求：围绕题目所给的图片展开写作，试图完成描述图片、解读意义和给出评论这三个主要任务，从整体结构框架上看，有一定的遵循题目要求的意识。

语言表达：文中存在大量拼写错误，如“though - provoking”写成“though - provoking”（正确为“thought - provoking”）、“insted”写成“instead”、“wrile”写成“while”、“signifant”写成“significant”、“reacher”写成“researcher”、“accunt”写成“account”、“correet”写成“correct”、“neeessary”写成“necessary”等，这些错误严重影响了语言的准确性。

内容层面：提出“言传身教”“父母以身作则对孩子教育重要”等核心观点的雏形，试图围绕家庭教育这一主题展开内容。

修改建议：对文章中的语法错误进行系统梳理，重点检查主谓一致、时态、固定搭配、句子结构等方面的问题。可以通过学习语法规则、分析例句等方式来提高语法水平。

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