2016年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一大作文常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, watching TV, smoking, and saying to his son “Son, you should study hard!” On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying hard at the desk with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that making an example is the brush that paints a bright future, while demanding all the time is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is throught-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting leading by example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society. What is more, making an example brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core support is to guide teenagers out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.

In brief, making an example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of demanding all the time to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：making

批改：固定搭配setting

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, watching TV, smoking, and saying to his son “Son, you should study hard!” On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying hard at the desk with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that making an example is the brush that paints a bright future, while demanding all the time is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：throught

批改：thought

原文：making

批改：setting

原文：This phenomenon is throught-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting leading by example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society. What is more, making an example brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core support is to guide teenagers out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：making

批改：setting

原文：In brief, making an example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of demanding all the time to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误，以及树立榜样的短语固定搭配是set an example；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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