想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2011年考研英语二批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the proportion of different car brands in China. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese brand was 25%, but by 2009, this rate had gradually risen to 30%. Meanwhile, the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a significant declined by 10% during the same period, Simultaneously, the percentage of American brand remained stable and steady.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follow. To start with, Against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using Chinese brands and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to improve the quality of domestic cars and reduce their prices, enabling people to choose them more willing. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomeon in the chart is unsurprising. What about future trends？I am confident that the proportion of Chinese automotive brands will steadily increase in the following decades.In contrast,the proportion of other country’s brands will continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： brand

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为复数形式 brands

原文： declined

批改：形容词修饰的是名词，改为 decline (decline 既有动词词性也有名词词性)

原文：,

批改：此处为句号

原文： brand

批改：改为复数 brands

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图表内容

原文：reason

批改：下列有几个原因，改为复数 reasons

原文： follow

批改：改为 follows, as follows 是一个固定搭配

原文：Against

批改：此处首字母不大写

原文：brands

批改：改为 cars, 动宾搭配更合理

原文：As

批改：此处首字母不大写

原文：willing

批改：副词修饰动词，此处改为 willingly

原文： phenomeon

批改： phenomenon

批改：内容表达不错，也很具体，此处写为第二段

批改：此处写为第三段

原文： country’s

批改：此处指的是其他多个国家，改为复数 countries"

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的

语言表达：存在几处语法和拼写问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：内容比较丰富具体，结构上建议写为三段式结构

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心 3. 标点使用和首字母大小写要规范 4. 结构上建议写为三段式结构。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，试着多用自己的话来写，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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