想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一作文模板核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father smoking and watching TV while asking his son to study. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinder progress for children.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, positive examples set by parents can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, negative examples are likely heavy chains that hinder children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples set by parents are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father smoking and watching TV while asking his son to study.

批改：简洁明了地描述了左边漫画的内容，使用了“while”连接两个同时进行的动作，语法正确。

原文：On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying with his son.

批改：与前一句形成对比，清晰地描述了右边漫画的情景，“on the contrary”使用恰当。

原文：Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinder progress for children.

批改：很好地总结了漫画的寓意，使用了比喻的修辞手法，使表达更生动形象。

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

批改：引出下文要讨论的两个方面，起到了承上启下的作用，表达清晰。

原文：First and foremost, positive examples set by parents can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

批改：详细阐述了父母树立正面榜样的第一个好处，逻辑清晰，使用了“first and foremost”来强调重要性。

原文：What is more, negative examples are likely heavy chains that hinder children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：继续阐述负面榜样的危害，使用了“what is more”来衔接，比喻手法使表达更生动。

原文：In brief, positive examples set by parents are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.

批改：总结了父母树立正面榜样的重要性，使用了“catalyst”这个高级词汇，表达准确。

原文：Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：提出了建议，逻辑清晰，使用了“therefore”和“additionally”来衔接，表达流畅。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

题目要求：这篇作文较好地契合了题目要求。在描述图片方面，清晰且简洁地阐述了左右两幅漫画中父亲不同的行为表现，即左边父亲抽烟看电视却要求儿子学习，右边父亲与儿子一同学习。在解读意义层面，准确提炼出漫画意图传达的核心观点——正面榜样是为孩子绘就光明未来的画笔，负面榜样则是阻碍孩子进步的枷锁。在给出评论时，围绕正面榜样和负面榜样对孩子成长、社会发展的影响展开论述，并提出了支持正面榜样、警惕负面榜样的建议，内容完整，符合题目所规定的三个要点。

语言表达：运用了恰当的比喻修辞，如“positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinder progress for children”，将正面榜样比作画笔，负面榜样比作枷锁，生动形象地阐述了二者对孩子未来的不同作用，增强了表达的感染力和可读性。

内容层面：文章观点鲜明，开篇通过描述漫画迅速引出核心观点，即正面榜样和负面榜样对孩子成长的不同影响，后续论述紧紧围绕这一观点展开，层次分明。

修改建议：替换一些普通词汇，如将“ask”改为“demand”“urge”等；在描述影响和建议时，使用更具表现力的词汇，如用“profoundly”代替“significantly”来强调影响的程度。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一作文模板常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。