本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in front of a TV and smoking, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying beside his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like heavy chains that hinder Children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brhef, positive examples are the catayst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：demanding

批改：搭配错误（“demand” 后接 “that 从句”，此处改为 “urging his son to study hard” 更贴合语境）

原文：C

批改：首字母小写

原文：brhef

批改：拼写错误，应为 “brief”

原文：catayst

批改：“catalyst”

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in front of a TV and smoking, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying beside his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite our creativity, promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples are like heavy chains that hinder Children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：提出了自己的观点，从正反两个方面论述，条理较为清晰

原文：In brhef, positive examples are the catayst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course

批改：结尾升华主题，符合结尾段的内容和结构

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16

原文立意深刻，精准捕捉了漫画 “父母榜样对孩子成长的影响” 这一核心寓意，框架完整、逻辑清晰，结构连贯自然。但存在少量问题：拼写错误（如 “brhef”“catayst”）和搭配不当（如 “demanding his son”）；加强单词和固定搭配的背诵，希望继续努力，加油！

本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。