思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while demanding to his son to study hard;On the contrary, in the right-hand, both the father and his son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, leading by examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life meaningful and motivetion, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, parents" negative attitude is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independtly and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, the power of role models from parents is the catelyst children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：to

批改：多去去掉

原文：right-hand

批改：后加picture

原文：In the left cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while demanding to his son to study hard;On the contrary, in the right-hand, both the father and his son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：motivetion

批改：改成形容词motivated

原文：his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, leading by examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life meaningful and motivetion, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, parents" negative attitude is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independtly and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：catelyst

批改：catalyst for

原文：In brief, the power of role models from parents is the catelyst children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式和语法方面，注意句子结构的完整，不要缺少成分。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。