想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As show in the cartoon, there are three people. Staying at boat and throwing garbage, which is not benefit with environment.

Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that perfect information is an issue that requires great attention within our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, how can we put on and to the problem of information? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhance supervision, and strengthen the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In really, we also need to issue related laws, take which the support of these measures. We can effectively tackle the issue at its core. Which is more, Protect information can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-defillment. Thus making life rewarding can meaningful.

In brief, protect environment is the catalyst for societal and personal development, form which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activate actively support and advocate this practice and conduct important work. We should actively promote and carry forward protect environment.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：show

批改：shown

原文：. Staying at

批改：删除句号，staying小写，at改为in/on

原文：which is not benefit with environment

批改：which is not beneficial to the environment

原文：perfect information

批改：主题是环境保护，environmental protection

原文：within

批改：both in

原文：how in the cartoon, there are three people. Staying at boat and throwing garbage, which is not benefit with environment. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that perfect information is an issue that requires great attention within our personal lives and in society.

批改：对漫画主题的描述不够准确

原文：on and

批改：an end

原文：information

批改：pollution

原文：enhance

批改：动名词enhancing

原文：strengthen

批改：strengthening

原文：really

批改：reality

原文：take which the support of these measures

批改：句意不明

原文：Which

批改：What

原文：Protect information

批改：Protecting the environment

原文：. Thus

批改：逗号，后面thus小写

原文：can

批改：and

原文：defillment

批改：fulfillment

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, how can we put on and to the problem of information? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhance supervision, and strengthen the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In really, we also need to issue related laws, take which the support of these measures. We can effectively tackle the issue at its core. Which is more, Protect information can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-defillment. Thus making life rewarding can meaningful.

批改：语法和拼写错误多，影响理解

原文：protect environment

批改：Protecting the environment

原文： form

批改：from

原文：ctivate

批改：删除

原文：protect environment

批改：protecting the environment”

原文：n brief, protect environment is the catalyst for societal and personal development, form which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activate actively support and advocate this practice and conduct important work. We should actively promote and carry forward protect environment.

批改：提出倡议，呼应主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20分。

1. 题目要求：作文内容包含全面，层次较为清晰，第一段未能直接点明保护环境的主题，第二段第三段拼写和语法错误较多，是扣分主要原因；

2. 语言表达：运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语结构和主语从句句型很棒；

3. 行文逻辑：采用较恰当的衔接手法，行文较为流程；

4. 建议：要深刻吃透老师的模板，使用自己的语言，灵活运用在各类题目中，进一步丰富自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

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