2015年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇饼图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语二作文真题常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different expenses during Spring Festival for residents in a certain city in China. Buying gifts takes the lead at 40%, followed by fare of car and party and others at 20% respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace,allowing them to afford more gifts than before. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, poeple"s attitudes toward of consumption have undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose expend more money to buy gifts. Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of gifts will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of translation will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different expenses during Spring Festival for residents in a certain city in China. Buying gifts takes the lead at 40%, followed by fare of car and party and others at 20% respectively.

批改：本段准确地列出了所有数据，完成了图表描述的核心任务

原文： The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different expenses during Spring Festival for resid

批改：fare of car and party and others -> transportation, social gatherings, and other expenses (表达不准确且啰嗦。fare of car 应为 transportation；party 用 social gatherings 更正式；and others 后应补充 expenses)

原文：poeple"s

批改：poeple"s -> people"s (拼写错误)

原文：an before. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, poeple"s attitudes toward of consumption have undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose expend more money to buy gifts. Considering these factors,the

批改：attitudes toward of consumption -> attitudes toward consumption (介词使用错误，删除 of) choose expend -> choose to expend 或 choose to spend (语法错误，choose to do sth) in chart -> in the chart (缺少定冠词)

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace,allowing them to afford more gifts than before. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, poeple"s attitudes toward of consumption have undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of people choose expend more money to buy gifts. Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in chart is unsurprising.

批改：本段试图分析原因，但选取的论点与图表现象的关联性不强，缺乏说服力

原文：f translation

批改：translation -> transportation (严重的拼写错误，完全改变了词义)

原文： about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of gifts will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of translation will likely continue to decrease.

批改：结尾段对未来的预测方向存在逻辑问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

总评：

同学，你好！这篇作文显示出你对图表作文的框架已经有了很好的把握，能够准确概括数据并组织起完整的文章，这是非常宝贵的能力。

1. 语言方面：

你的语言运用能力是扎实的，句子基本通顺。主要的提升空间在于语言的精准度，包括拼写错误（poeple, translation）、语法错误（choose expend）和用词不当。这些细节的失误会影响你。建议在写作后预留时间进行专项检查。

2. 结构方面：

你的三段式结构非常清晰。在内容上，可以着力提升论述的“相关性”与“逻辑性”。第二段的论点（政府、社会进步）与春节送礼的关联不够直接；第三段的预测（交通支出减少）有违常理。好的论述和预测应基于常识和图表暗示的内在逻辑。

总的修改建议：

精准用词，仔细校对：请重点检查高频词汇的拼写和动词搭配。建立自己的“易错词清单”会非常有效。

紧扣主题分析原因：在分析春节消费时，从文化、情感、社会习俗等角度切入，而不是宏大的经济背景。

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