当你坐在考研英语一考场，面对2016年大作文题目的那一瞬间，是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章？本文这篇批改例文，正是考研英语一写作技巧话题下的标准范本，适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a father,smoking and watching TV,while asking his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,both father and son are devoted into studies.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future,while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the principle of positive example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation.On the other hand,negative examples by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing then from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practical;additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：语法正确

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

原文：into

批改：be devoted to 固定搭配，此处改为 to

原文： studies

批改：改为 their studies 更自然

批改：语法正确

原文：example

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为复数 examples

原文：keeps the Chinese nation

批改：此处表达要补充完整，改为 keeps the Chinese nation thriving

批改：内容表达不错，也比较具体

原文： then

批改：them

原文：practical

批改：此处为名词，改为 practice

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法和拼写问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2.拼写要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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