进入冲刺阶段，每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2013年考研英语二批改范例，由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批，已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生，都能从中找到提分灵感。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in part-time jobs situations among college students at a certain university. In the freshman year, the percentage of studens taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by the Second year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.13%. In contrast, the proportion of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase of 16.31% from the Third year to the senior year.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense employment pressure, and as a result, accumulating work experience through part-time jobs has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, chances, and chanllenges, practical ability is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of taking part-time jobs of university students will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in part-time jobs situations among college students at a certain university.

批改：句子结构完整，清晰地表明了柱状图所展示的内容

原文：In the freshman year, the percentage of studens taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by the Second year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.13%.

批改：“studens”拼写错误，应为“students”；整体句子在阐述大一和大二学生兼职比例的变化，逻辑清晰。second不用大写。

原文：In contrast, the proportion of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase of 16.31% from the Third year to the senior year.

批改：“Third year”更自然的表达是“junior year” ；句子表达了大三到大四学生兼职比例有显著增长。

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.

批改：承上启下的作用，引出下文对现象原因的分析，句子表达简洁明了。

原文：To start with, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.”

批改：引用俗语来引出大学生面临压力这一观点，增加了文章的趣味性和说服力，表达自然。

原文：Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense employment pressure, and as a result, accumulating work experience through part-time jobs has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.

批改：句子逻辑清晰，阐述了大学生因就业压力而选择通过兼职积累工作经验来利用闲暇时间

原文：n addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, chances, and chanllenges, practical ability is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run.

批改：“chanllenges”拼写错误，应为“challenges”。句子进一步分析了大学生兼职的另一个原因，即现代社会需要实践能力，逻辑合理。

原文：Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring.

批改：“unsurpring”拼写错误，应为“unsurprising”。此句总结前文原因分析，得出图表现象不足为奇的结论，逻辑连贯。

原文：What about future trends?

批改：以提问的方式引出对未来趋势的探讨，起到了过渡作用，表达自然。

原文：I am confident that the proportion of taking part-time jobs of university students will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：“the proportion of taking part - time jobs”应改为“the proportion of university students taking part - time jobs”。此句表达了对未来大学生兼职比例会稳步增长的信心。

原文：The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in part-time jobs situations among college students at a certain university. In the freshman year, the percentage of studens taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by the Second year, this rate had gradually risen to 71.13%. In contrast, the proportion of students doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase of 16.31% from the Third year to the senior year.

批改：整体介绍了柱状图的内容，即某大学不同年级大学生兼职比例的变化情况，但存在拼写错误

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense employment pressure, and as a result, accumulating work experience through part-time jobs has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, chances, and chanllenges, practical ability is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring.

批改：分析了大学生兼职比例变化的原因，逻辑较为清晰，从就业压力和现代社会对实践能力的要求两方面进行阐述。

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of taking part-time jobs of university students will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：提出了对未来大学生兼职比例趋势的看法

原文：unsurpring

批改：unsurprising拼写错误

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15

题目要求：一方面，对图表进行了描述，指出柱状图展示了不同年级大学生兼职情况的变化，涵盖大一到大四各阶段兼职比例数据；另一方面，给出了评论，分析了大学生兼职比例变化的原因，还对未来趋势做出了预测。

语言表达：存在多处语法错误。“studens”拼写错误，应为“students”；“chanllenges”拼写错误，是“challenges”；“the proportion of taking part - time jobs of university students”存在语法错误，应改为“the proportion of university students taking part - time jobs” 。这些错误影响了句子的正确性和流畅性。

内容层面：逻辑较为清晰，先描述图表内容，接着分析原因，最后预测未来趋势，层次分明。在分析原因时，从就业压力和现代社会对实践能力的要求两方面进行阐述，有一定的逻辑性。

修改建议：加强对英语语法的学习，尤其是主谓一致、句子结构、词性搭配等基础语法知识。加油！

专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务，针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后，欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育，享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。