本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists, sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the water,which pollutes the river.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect the environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the important of protecting the environment.What is more, protect the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation,as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength,further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

How can we put an end to the problem of protecting the environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and instilling the idea of protecting the environment into students.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to foster the virtue of protecting the environment deliberately.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：protect

批改：protecting 动名词做主语

原文： shown in the cartoon,there are two tourists, sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the water,which pollutes the river.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect the environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：描述漫画内容，揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理，清晰直观。

原文：important

批改：importantance 要用名词形式

原文：protect

批改：protecting

原文：his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the important of protecting the environment.What is more, protect the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation,as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength,further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of protecting the environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and instilling the idea of protecting the environment into students.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to foster the virtue of protecting the environment deliberately.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

作文对漫画的理解到位，写作思路紧扣主题，有些短语句式的表达也不错，基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图，但在以下几方面还需注意：

细节：考试时可以多积累高级词汇，写作文就能用上，但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误，特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。

内容：这幅漫画中细节比较多，但最核心的内容比较明确，那就是旅游过程中游客的不恰当行为造成环境污染。该图显示水面上有一艘观光船，两个游客随手乱扔垃圾，水面上漂浮着各种各样的废弃物。很多考生拿到试卷后的第一反应就是写如何保护环境，再细心一点的考生就写成如何保护景区环境。可是，这幅图不仅要强调被破坏的环境，还要强调造成这种环境污染的缘由——游客甚至是人类的不恰当行为。这样表达文章意思才全面。

整体来看，作文理解了漫画内涵，段落框架明确，大体上与题目要求保持一致，但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处，主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当，后续继续注重练习，加油！

本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。