考研英语一写作冲刺每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a man

asking his son study hard and watching TV.

On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there

is a man study hard with his son. Evidently,

the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that

the positive examples is the brush that paints a

bright tuture, while bad examples is the shackle

that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in seveal

ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

First and foremost, the positive examples bring

numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers.

Its core driving force stem from teenager"s

imitation of the example and gain recognition

from others. What"s more, bad examples are

like a heavy chain that hinder children"s

progress, leaving them with a negative outlook

on Lite and preventing them from shining brightly

in future society.

In brief, the positive example is the catalyst

for societal and personal development, from which

we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively

support and advocate this practice, additionally,

we must be acutely aware of the detrimental

effects of bad example to ensure our growth

stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：加to，ask sb to do sth

原文：study

批改：改成非谓语studying

原文：is

批改：are，注意主谓一致

原文：is

批改：are

原文：In the left-hand picture, there is a man asking his son study hard and watching TV. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a man study hard with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the positive examples is the brush that paints a bright tuture, while bad examples is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：seveal

批改：several

原文：stem

批改：单三stems

原文：gain

批改：gains

原文：hinder

批改：hinders

原文：Lite

批改：life

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in seveal ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, the positive examples bring numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stem from teenager"s imitation of the example and gain recognition from others. What"s more, bad examples are like a heavy chain that hinder children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on Lite and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：论述的内容较为全面，运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。注意避免小的语言问题。

原文：,

批改：分号

原文：In brief, the positive example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面和语法方面，注意一句话只能有一个谓语以及主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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