本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2024年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注，对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则，你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there are people doing exercise and a boy talking about the garden. Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020 the number of gardens in the city was 406, but by 2022, this figure had substantially risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist and chart intend to convey to readers that these gardens that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, doing exercise in gardens has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Last but not least, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build so many gardens, enabling people to have ample places for enjoyment.

What about future trends? I am confident that the number of gardens will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：t future trends? I am confident that the number of gardens will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：结尾段简洁明了，直截了当

原文：ons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, doing exercise in gardens has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Last but not least, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build so many gardens, enabling people to have ample places for enjoyment.

批改：这真是一段非常精彩的论证！你的分析视角宏观且深入，论证结构工整，语言表达上既有文采又有力量。这充分展现了你扎实的写作功底和深刻的思维层次。

原文：ey also pursue spiritual enjoyment. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, d

批改：in the wake of high-speed advancement 建议在 society 前加上 our 或 the，即 ...of our society，使表达更完整。 引用谚语 “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” 是一个非常亮眼的操作，极大地增强了文采和说服力。 as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes 这个比喻也极具创意，体现了你优秀的语言驾驭能力。

原文： readers that these gardens that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：准确地捕捉并呈现了两幅图的核心信息，并提炼出了深刻的文章主旨

原文：Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020 the number of gardens in the city was 406, but by 2022, this figure had substantially risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist and chart intend to convey to reade

批改：开头两句话的衔接可以更流畅。Simultaneously 虽然达意，但略显生硬。可以考虑使用 Correspondingly 或 In the corresponding bar chart 来建立更自然的联系。 结尾句 ...that these gardens that play... 存在语法错误，多了一个 that。应改为 ...that these gardens play an important...。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

你这篇作文的质量非常之高，无论是在严谨的结构、深刻的立意，还是地道的语言和出众的文采上，都展现出了极高的水准。你已完全掌握了考研英语高分作文的写作要领。

如果说还有什么可以锦上添花的建议，

在写作速度之外，留出片刻快速检查一下句子的完整性（如冠词、代词）和语法细节，确保每一个句子都无懈可击。

读懂范文只是第一步，写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务，由资深讲师逐句点评，让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考，从一篇专业批改开始。