本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2016年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注，对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则，你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a father sitting in the sofa, watching TV and smoking but telling his son "You must study hard!" while his son looking at him sadly. However, in the right-hand picture, both father and son are studying. Evidently, the two pictures intend to convey to readers is that parents should be a good example for their children instead of just asking them to achieve their requirements.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents are children"s first teacher. Parents" practice will have profound influences on their children. Next, it is important for parents to improve themselves so that their children will generally become self-disciplined.

In brief, to be a good example is important for parents and it is the catalyst for their children"s progress. Only by doing so can their children develop their potential and fulfill their aspirations. In addition, parents also need to aware of the negative effects of their bad habits.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：looking

批改：改成谓语looks

原文：is

批改：多余删去

原文：In the left-hand picture, there is a father sitting in the sofa, watching TV and smoking but telling his son "You must study hard!" while his son looking at him sadly. However, in the right-hand picture, both father and son are studying. Evidently, the two pictures intend to convey to readers is that parents should be a good example for their children instead of just asking them to achieve their requirements.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in many ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents are children"s first teacher. Parents" practice will have profound influences on their children. Next, it is important for parents to improve themselves so that their children will generally become self-disciplined.

批改：论述的内容较为全面，运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。

批改：缺少be

原文：In brief, to be a good example is important for parents and it is the catalyst for their children"s progress. Only by doing so can their children develop their potential and fulfill their aspirations. In addition, parents also need to aware of the negative effects of their bad habits.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，注意句子结构完整，不要缺少成分；语法方面，注意谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

读懂范文只是第一步，写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务，由资深讲师逐句点评，让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考，从一篇专业批改开始。