作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一写作技巧常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

This theme of drawing is the "savage" during trip. At the center of drawing, there is a small boat where three people are in. It seems like a person who is a boatman and he stands in front of the boat and controls the direction and two persons sit behind who throw themselves leaving rubbish into a river, and there also is much other rubbish in it.

This drawing intends us that with the development of society, tourism becomes more and more popular but when people trival, they forget to protect native environment even to throw rubbish or other uncivil actions.

It has many uncivil actions around us, which not only include throwing rubbish redunly, but also include scrawling randomly. Those uncivilized actions not only let ecological damage, but also expose their low quality. We should call on the whole society to foster a civil tourism atmosphere and punish uncivil tourism behavior. It is our joint efforts that reducing the "excess" of these journeys requires.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：trival,

批改：“trival”→“travel”（拼写错误，考研基础词汇需杜绝失误）

原文：native environment

批改：“native environment”→“local environment”（“local” 搭配 “environment” 更地道，考研词汇精准性要求）

原文：even to throw

批改：“even to throw”→“even engage in littering”（“engage in + 动名词” 为考研高分句式，“littering” 比 “throwing rubbish” 更简洁）

原文：redunly,

批改：redunly”→“randomly”（拼写错误，结合语境应为 “随意地”）

原文：expose their low quality

批改：“expose”→“reflect”（“反映素质” 比 “暴露素质” 更地道，考研表达精准性要求）

原文： let ecological damage,

批改：“let ecological damage”→“cause ecological damage”（“cause damage” 为考研固定搭配，“let” 无此用法）；

原文：call on

批改：“call on”→“appeal to”（考研写作 “呼吁” 类高频替换词)

原文：behavior

批改：“behavior”→“behaviors”（用复数表泛指，考研名词单复数考点）

原文：civil

批改：“civil”→“civilized”（形容词形式一致，考研语法一致性要求）

原文：savage

批改：“savage”→“uncivilized behavior”（“savage” 语义过重且不贴合 “旅游不文明” 语境，考研写作需词汇精准）

原文：much other rubbish

批改：“much other rubbish”→“various wastes”（“various” 体现垃圾种类，比 “much” 更具体，考研写作需细节支撑）；

原文：controls the direction

批改：“controls the direction”→“steer the boat”（“steer” 为 “掌舵” 精准表达，考研高频词汇）

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/20

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