想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

Play an example instead of mentioning demmands.

The left picture, depict a father mentioning demand for his son to struggle to study when he is watching movie. Neverthless, a hard-working and responsible father image is displayed inspiring this little boy enthusiasm for study as well as his father.

This is an universal problem that many parents face today. They aspire to command their children to study hard and achieve excellent exam score, but neglect the essential of own conducts. Set an example is an indispensable part of educating their children, because they will imitate their parents" conducts and feeling them is true. And children will feel unfair and arouse a defiant attitude if parents always entertain oneself with E-products . On the other hand, set an example is prominent traditional virtue, which not merely asserts our country to cultivates thousands of elites, but advocates the demeaner of a major power for other country as well.

In summany. only regarding parents as the positive example can childen study diligently. This problem, negleated by many parents, needs to be recognized and addressed so that their children keep a powerful heart facing diverse dilemmas.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Play an example instead of mentioning demmands.

批改：标题不需要标点符号，为错误表达，固定搭配是 "set an example"（树立榜样）；demmands" 双写错误，正确拼写为 "demands"

原文：depict

批改："depict" 需用第三人称单数 "depicts"，且逗号多余（此处无插入语）

原文：watching movie

批改："watch a movie"

原文：Neverthless

批改：拼写错误 "Nevertheless"

原文：this little boy enthusiasm

批改：需用名词所有格 "the little boy’s"，表示 “男孩的热情”

原文：an

批改：a

原文：many parents face

批改："face" 改为现在进行时 "are facing"，强调 “当前正在面临的问题”

原文： exam score

批改：需用复数 "scores"（表示 “多次考试的成绩”）

原文：essential

批改："essential" 是形容词，此处需用名词 "importance"

原文：own conducts.

批改：缺少形容词性物主代词 "their" their own conducts

原文：Set an example

批改：动词短语，不能直接作主语，需改为动名词短语 "Setting an example"（动名词可作主语）

原文： feeling

批改：时态不一致："imitate" 是一般现在时，"feeling" 需改为原形 "feel"

原文：entertain oneself

批改："parents" 是复数，"entertain oneself" 需改为 "amuse themselves"

原文：set an example

批改：需改为动名词短语 "setting an example"

原文：prominent traditional virtue

批改：可数名词单数，需加冠词 "a"

原文：asserts our country to cultivates

批改："assert" 表示 “断言”，此处需用 "enable"（"enable sb. to do sth." 表示 “使某人能够做某事”），且 "to" 后接动词原形 "cultivate"（不能用 "cultivates"）

原文：demeaner

批改：拼写错误 "demeanor"

原文：other country

批改：需用复数 "other countries"

原文：summany.

批改： "summary"，后面使用逗号

原文：childen

批改："childen"

原文：negleated

批改：拼写错误 "neglected"

原文：only regarding

批改："only by regarding..."（"only by doing sth." 表示 “只有通过做某事”

原文：The left picture, depict a father mentioning demand for his son to struggle to study when he is watching movie. Neverthless, a hard-working and responsible father image is displayed inspiring this little boy enthusiasm for study as well as his father

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：This is an universal problem that many parents face today. They aspire to command their children to study hard and achieve excellent exam score, but neglect the essential of own conducts. Set an example is an indispensable part of educating their children, because they will imitate their parents" conducts and feeling them is true. And children will feel unfair and arouse a defiant attitude if parents always entertain oneself with E-products . On the other hand, set an example is prominent traditional virtue, which not merely asserts our country to cultivates thousands of elites, but advocates the demeaner of a major power for other country as well

批改：提出了自己的观点，条理较为清晰

原文：In summany. only regarding parents as the positive example can childen study diligently. This problem, negleated by many parents, needs to be recognized and addressed so that their children keep a powerful heart facing diverse dilemmas.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14

紧扣考研英语图表作文核心要求（围绕 “父母榜样与子女教育” 展开，主题明确），且能结合社会现象提出观点，有一定思想深度；尝试使用并列结构（"not merely...but..."）、定语从句等复杂句式；词汇有一定积累（如 "indispensable" "defiant" "cultivates elites" 等），避免了简单词汇的重复。

主要不足：基础错误较多：集中在拼写（如 "demmands" "negleated"）、冠词（"an universal"）、名词单复数（"exam score" "other country"）、动词形式（"Set an example" 作主语）等。希望继续努力，加油！

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