正在备考考研英语的你，是否还在为2016年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁？本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文，系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评，你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

It is apparently in the pie chart above there are different proportion concerning the investigation of purpose that high school students go to a trip.

To be specific Enjoying the scenery takes a lion"s share accounting for 37％ of the total.Meanwhile releasing pressure,making friends,enhance independent abilities and others take up 33％,9％,6％ and 15％ respectively.What has sparked this trend？

There are diverse elements triggering the above situation,but generally speaking,they may come down three most underlying ones To get start it is universally acknowledge that relevant department has spared more efforts to advocate and encourage the public to pay attention to traveling.Apart from this the phenomenon has happened just due to the fact that people want to broaden their horizons enrich their experience and enhance their vigor to create an enthusiastic environment for our society,so their traveling for enjoying the scenery and making friends.Thirdly and most significantly,in addition,there is no denying that with the rapid development of socail media such as short videos,more and more students can get more traveling

Base on these analyse,there is no surprise to see the charts above.The current trend,which is shown in these graphs,is rather common and normal.And from my perspective it will be difficult to reverse in the foreseeable future

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：proportion

批改：proportions 注意主谓一致

原文：enhance

批改：enhancing 注意和前面并列的内容保持格式一致 动名词形式

原文： is apparently in the pie chart above there are different proportion concerning the investigation of purpose that high school students go to a trip. To be specific Enjoying the scenery takes a lion"s share accounting for 37％ of the total.Meanwhile releasing pressure,making friends,enhance independent abilities and others take up 33％,9％,6％ and 15％ respectively.What has sparked this trend？

批改：用具体数据描述图表内容，清晰直观，但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象

原文：they may come down three most underlying ones

批改：注意断句，补充句号

原文： acknowledge

批改： acknowledged

原文：horizons

批改：补充逗号

原文：their

批改：they are

原文：in addition,

批改：和前面的逻辑连词重复，选择一个即可

原文：There are diverse elements triggering the above situation,but generally speaking,they may come down three most underlying ones To get start it is universally acknowledge that relevant department has spared more efforts to advocate and encourage the public to pay attention to traveling.Apart from this the phenomenon has happened just due to the fact that people want to broaden their horizons enrich their experience and enhance their vigor to create an enthusiastic environment for our society,so their traveling for enjoying the scenery and making friends.Thirdly and most significantly,in addition,there is no denying that with the rapid development of socail media such as short videos,more and more students can get more traveling

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文： analyse

批改：analysis 要用名词形式

原文： charts

批改：chart

原文：Base on these analyse,there is no surprise to see the charts above.The current trend,which is shown in these graphs,is rather common and normal.And from my perspective it will be difficult to reverse in the foreseeable future

批改：总结全文，升华主题，展望未来，立意深远。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11 /15

这篇文章内容完整充实，结构清晰合理，逻辑严谨，层次分明，句型表达丰富。

语法：语言表达和语法基础上，进步的空间还很大。比如本次作文中出现多次的单词拼写错误等问题，会很拉低你的平均分。另外还需要注意一些基础的语法问题和表达搭配问题，有时间好好看看文中的批改，细心吸收，争取在接下来的练习中避免类似的错误。

首段总体概括图表主题，详细列出关键数据变化；第二段分析原因；第三段评论与展望，预测未来趋势可能持续，并强调其对个人和社会发展的积极意义。

文章整体来说，言简意赅，符合了考试写作提纲的要求，文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多，在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语，这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据，可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析，增强说服力。

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