作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一真题常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

治

2011大作文

As shown in this cartoon, there are two people, there are a menand a woman sitting in a ship and throwing unuielesuness Into the water.Evidently. the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that neglesting to protect enviorment is an issue the that requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.

The phenomen is thought-provking in servious warys but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of protcting enviorment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirdble character of the Chinese people. What is more, protecting enviorment holds exceptionals significance for a nation as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health,further propelling social stability and sustainable developement.

How can we put an end to the problem of neglecting to protect enviorment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including strengthening moral education and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be compreiensive enough? In veality we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measure we can effectively tackie the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：a menand

批改：a man and

原文：there are two people,

批改：后面有a man and a woman，这里这句可以删掉了，另外两个there are句型放一起也不太流畅。

原文：unuielesuness

批改：rubbish

原文：Evidently.

批改：后面用逗号

原文：neglesting

批改：neglecting

原文：enviorment

批改：environment

原文：phenomen

批改：phenomenon

原文：thought-provking

批改：thought-provoking

原文：servious

批改：several

原文：warys

批改：ways

原文：particulary

批改：particularly

原文：protcting

批改：protecting

原文：First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of protcting enviorment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirdble character of the Chinese people.

批改：保护环境更是一种普世价值，中国传统价值一般是孝顺和谐这种

原文：enviorment

批改：environment

原文：developement

批改：development

原文：exceptionals

批改：exceptional

原文：compreiensive

批改：comprehensive

原文：veality

批改：reality，后面还需要加个逗号

原文： measure

批改：measures

原文：tackie

批改：tackle

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of neglecting to protect enviorment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including strengthening moral education and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be compreiensive enough? In veality we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measure we can effectively tackie the issue at its core.

批改：最后这里建议挺不错的

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/20

1.题目要求：文章中完成了描述漫画、揭示含义和给予评论三大任务，符合题目要求。

2.语言表达：词汇量较为丰富。但是文中存在大量拼写错误，这是本文的重要失分点。

3.行文逻辑：文章结构合理，分为开头、正文和结尾，层次分明。从描述漫画场景开始，逐步过渡到环境保护的重要性，最后提出解决方案。这样的逻辑是英语作文的标准，请继续保持。

4.建议：建议同学写作完成后，一定要通篇读一遍，这个过程重点抓语法和拼写错误，这种不必要的问题一定要扼杀掉。另外坚持背诵锦囊句，多练习积累手感和语感，一定要坚持自己写作文，自己写完之后再去借鉴范文，学习范文的优秀表达，这样会更快提升，能在正式考试中根据不同的题目要求写出更切题的文章。继续加油(ง •_•)ง，相信你一定能成功，Go Go!

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