考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2024年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy standing in the citizen fitness area, and saying proudly, "The park having been built in front of my home is more than nice." Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, clearly depicts the number of parks in a certain city from 2020 to 2022. In the three years, it experienced a significant increase of 264.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build numbers of parks, enabling citizens to exercise. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park, rather than just staying at home. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks and fitness participants will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：in the right-hand chart,

批改：此处做的是句子的主语，改为名词短语 the right-hand chart

原文：having been built

批改：动词形式冗余，包含了“完成”和“被动”两个概念。虽然从意思上能理解是“已经被建好的”，但在修饰名词作定语时，用一个简单的过去分词 built 即可

原文：,

批改：删去

批改：语法正确

原文：In the three years

批改：改为 Over this period 更自然

原文：it

批改：改为 the number 指代清晰

批改：内容表达很清晰，多注意语法问题

批改：语法正确

原文：numbers of

批改：此处和 build 搭配不合理，改为 many 即可

原文：staying

批改：rather than 作为并列连词，前后连接的成分最好在语法形式上保持一致。将 staying 改为动词原形 stay，与 exercise 平行。

批改：内容表达不错，也比较具体

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法错误，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

本文展示的2024年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。