启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一作文模板备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa, watching TV, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a positive example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while a negative example is the shackle that hinders the children"s progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-wonsuming. On the other hand, setting negative examples is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, setting positive examples is the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of setting negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa, watching TV, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a positive example is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while a negative example is the shackle that hinders the children"s progress.

批改：表达通顺，对于漫画的描述可以再优化下，比如对两幅图中孩子的状态也描述下，比如左图中的孩子无法专心学习，右图中的孩子专心致志等，这样会更完善，更有助于引出个人观点

原文：wonsuming

批改：consuming

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, setting positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-wonsuming. On the other hand, setting negative examples is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：从正反两面论述了好榜样的意义和坏榜样的危害，注意个别拼写问题

原文：setting

批改：建立正面榜样是孩子成长的催化剂，这个 表达不是很通顺，把setting去掉会好一点

原文：In brief, setting positive examples is the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of setting negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：呼应论点，表达通顺

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18/20

题目要求：对漫画的描述可以再优化下，个人观点及论述内容符合题意；

语言表达：全文用了较多的经典句式，除了个别拼写错误，表达清晰，语言通顺。练习阶段也可以用自己的语言表达，锻炼下语法水平和写作能力；

行文逻辑：第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点，第二段详细论述，第三段呼应上文总结全文，整体架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；继续积累经典句式；保持日常写作练习；

这篇完成得很好，继续保持啊~

考研英语一作文模板写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。