考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2011年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一大作文高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the environment dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protecting environment is an issue that requires great attentions both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economy interests, have disregarded the value of protecting environment.

How can we put an end to the problem of the rubbish in environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including doing calling for the individuals to protect the environment and issuing related laws. But would these measures comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：protecting environment

批改：protecting ​​the environment 加the，特指自然环境或生态环境的整体概念

原文： attentions

批改：单数

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the environment dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protecting environment is an issue that requires great attentions both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：准确反映了漫画的内容和主旨

原文： though

批改：​​thought-provoking，少个t

原文： environment

批改：加the

原文：environment

批改：加the

原文：This phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economy interests, have disregarded the value of protecting environment.

批改：论点清晰，词汇和句法丰富

原文：he rubbish in environment

批改：不合适，直接改为environmental pollution

原文：doing calling for

批改：表达不自然， raising public awareness of protecting the....

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of the rubbish in environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including doing calling for the individuals to protect the environment and issuing related laws. But would these measures comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：good

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20分。

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，主语从句，定语从句，让步状语从句和非谓语结构很棒；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯；

4.要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，灵活运用，丰富自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

本文展示的2011年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一大作文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。