一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语一真题教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon，there is a

father，sitting in the sofa and watching TV ，while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary，in the right-hand portrayal，

another father is studying together with his

son.Evidently，the cartoonist intends to

convey readers that setting a good example is the brush that paints a bright future，

while setting a negative example is the

shackle that hiders children"s progress.

On the one hand，a positive example can

ignite our creative，nurture our souls，and promoting personal development and

self-fulfillment，thus making life more

rewarding and meaningful，rather than

being self-comsuming.On the other hand，a negative example is like a heavy chain that

hiders children"s progress，leaving them

with negative outlook on life，depriving

them of ability to think independently，and preventing them from shining in the future

society.

In brief，setting a positive example is the

catalyst for children"s development.

Therefore，we should actively advocate and support this practice. Additionally，we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects

of negative example to ensure children"s

growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：in

批改：改为 on 更合适

原文：convey

批改：convey to sb, 改为 convey to

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

原文：promoting

批改：此处和 ignite, nurture 是并列关系，改为 promote

原文： negative outlook

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 a negative outlook

原文：the

批改：society 前面不能加 the, 删去

批改：内容表达不错，也比较具体

原文：negative example

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 a negative example

批改：结尾段内容表达很好，也很具体

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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