本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2017年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, lying on the chair and saying, “He has so many books”,without reading any one. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a boy, sitting on chair and saying, “He will try his best to read twenty books in this year”. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that diligence and self-discipline are the brush that paints a bright future,while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is throught -provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, diligence and self-discipline have become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, sloth is not merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youngsters and teenagers. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide,ultimately turning one into a devoted follower of the “lying flat”philosophy.

In brief, diligence and self-discipline are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Meanwhile, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of sloth to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, lying on the chair and saying, “He has so many books”,without reading any one. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a boy, sitting on chair and saying, “He will try his best to read twenty books in this year”. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that diligence and self-discipline are the brush that paints a bright future,while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：你对两幅图的对比描述得非常清晰，并成功提炼出“勤奋自律”与“懒惰”的核心对立。开篇点题，直击要害。尤其值得称赞的是，“brush”和“shackle”的比喻运用得十分生动、贴切，是全文的亮点。

原文：tting on chair

批改：...sitting on chair... 这里缺少了一个冠词，地道的表达是 sitting on a chair。

原文：hout reading any

批改：...without reading any one. one 指代单数，而前面是“many books”，这里使用 any of them 会更准确。

原文：is phenomenon is throught -provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, diligence and self-discipline have become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, sloth is not merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youngsters and teenagers. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide,ultimately turning one into a devoted follower of the “lying flat”philosophy.

批改：本段的论证极为出彩，是你本次作文最成功的地方。你不仅从正反两方面论证，而且使用了“chronic poison", "Achilles" heel"等一系列高级隐喻，语言富有哲理和文学色彩，说服力与感染力并存。

原文：rought -provok

批改：应为 thought-provoking。

原文：brief, diligence and self-discipline are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Meanwhile, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of sloth to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结到位，再次点明核心品质的积极作用，并呼应前文，提出要警惕其反面，结构完整

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18

评分理由：

你的这篇作文在各个维度都表现得非常出色，已具备高分甚至满分作文的潜质：

内容与形式：完美扣题，包含了所有内容要点，且论证深刻。

词汇与语法：词汇丰富且运用得当（如catalyst, detrimental, stifles, erodes），语法结构多样，错误极少。

衔接与连贯：有效地使用了“On the one hand... On the other hand...", "In brief", "Meanwhile”等衔接方法，文字连贯，层次极其清晰。

语言质量：语言自然流畅，并运用了生动形象的比喻（brush, shackle, poison, Achilles" heel, ladder/slide），极大地增强了表达效果。

总评与修改建议：

这篇作文清晰地展示了你在这一阶段的巨大进步和扎实的写作功底。你不再仅仅是“写对句子”，而是在进行“有文采、有深度地表达”。第二段中关于“ladder”与“slide”的对比，体现了你高超的语言驾驭能力和思辨能力。

我给你的建议是：

在通往顶分的道路上，任何微小的疏忽（如漏掉冠词a，拼写错误throught）都可能成为最后的障碍。请务必在完稿后，留出1-2分钟专门检查这类“小瑕疵”。

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