进入冲刺阶段，每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例，由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批，已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生，都能从中找到提分灵感。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon ,there is a father ,sitting in the front of tv and saying “You should study hard ,son.”On the contrary ,in the right-hand portrayal,father and son are together study in the front of desk.evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to the reader that a good role model is the brush that paints a bright future ,while a bad role model is the shackle that hinders progress .

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways ,but two of them are particularly significant . On the one hand ,in modern society full of changes,chances , and challenges ,a good role model has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people ,and its significance has become increasingly evident . On the other hand,a bad role model is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress ,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society .

In brief ,a good role model is the catalyst for societal and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit .Therefore , we should actively support and advocate this practice ;additionally , we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a bad role model to ensure our growth stays on course .

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：tv

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 a TV

原文：are together study

批改：be 动词后面不能加动词原形，改为 are studying together， 或者 直接写为 study together

原文：in the front of desk

批改：在书桌前 通常用 at a desk

原文：evidently

批改：首字母大写

原文：the reader

批改：建议改为复数，不止一个读者 readers

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确，表达也很好

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

批改：结尾段总结内容很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心 2. 首字母大小写要规范。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的很好，加油！

专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务，针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后，欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育，享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。