当你坐在考研英语一考场，面对2016年大作文题目的那一瞬间，是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章？本文这篇批改例文，正是考研英语一作文真题话题下的标准范本，适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left picture, there is a father sitting on the couch, watching TV and saying to his son studying harder. On the contrary, in the right pictucture, father and his son, studying together. Evidently the cartoonist intends to convey readers that good example is the brush that points a bight future, while bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

The phenomenon is thought-provking in serval ways, but two of them are particulary significant, on one hand a good example can ignite oure creativity our souls, promotes persoual growth and self fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. on the other hand, sloth not only hinders one"s success, but also acts cn Achilles heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stove towards to hell.

In brief a good example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：saying to his son studying harder

批改：改为 “telling his son to study harder”（“tell sb. to do sth.” 为固定结构）

原文：pictucture

批改： 拼写错误 “picture”

原文：studying together

批改：缺少谓语动词，补充 “are”，are studying

原文：Evidently

批改：后补充逗号

原文：convey readers

批改：改为 “convey to readers”（“convey sth. to sb.” 为固定搭配）

原文：thought-provking

批改：拼写错误 “thought-provoking”

原文： serval

批改：拼写错误 “several”

原文：particulary

批改：拼写错误 “particularly”

原文：oure

批改：“our”

原文：persoual

批改：“personal”

原文：self fulfillment

批改：“self-fulfillment”（连字符连接）

原文：o

批改：首字母大写

原文：acts cn

批改：“becomes”

原文：Achilles heel

批改：“Achilles’ heel”（固定表达，需所有格）

原文：stepping stove

批改：什么意思？

原文：In brief

批改：后面加逗号

原文：In the left picture, there is a father sitting on the couch, watching TV and saying to his son studying harder. On the contrary, in the right pictucture, father and his son, studying together. Evidently the cartoonist intends to convey readers that good example is the brush that points a bight future, while bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provking in serval ways, but two of them are particulary significant, on one hand a good example can ignite oure creativity our souls, promotes persoual growth and self fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. on the other hand, sloth not only hinders one"s success, but also acts cn Achilles heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stove towards to hell.

批改：提出自己的观点，使用了表示逻辑的关系词，条理较为清晰

原文：In brief a good example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

批改：总结全文，升华主题，符合结尾段的内容和结构

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14

原文紧扣 “父母榜样对孩子的影响” 的图画核心，框架完整，且运用了比喻修辞，具备较好的写作基础。但语法 / 拼写错误频发（如 “pictucture”“thought-provking”“Achilles heel”），加强单词的背诵，写完整体检查一遍，避免出现粗心的问题。希望继续努力，加油！

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