据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart apparently mirrors a wide difference in terms of the way residents choose to exercise. The bar chart consists of four sectors, among which exercising alone rank first, accounting for 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends (47.7%), exercising with family (23.9%) and exercising with teammates (15.8%)

The bar chart informs us of the phenomenon that people in mounting numbers choose to exercise alone and I believe there are several fundamental factors to account for the above-mentioned changes. First and foremost, with the rapid development of the national economy, people"s living standards have improved accordingly. As a result, a growing number of people have a strong demand for building a healthier body. Regarding all factors, exercise alone is the most convenient way to make it. What"s more, another crucial cause that can"t be ignored is that advancements in science and technology have provided a technical foundation for the basic of exercising properly by oneself. Last but not least, social media platforms substantially facilitate the flow and intensification of certain awareness, thus accelerating the transition from an emerging phenomenon into the new reality.

In conclusion, the current tendency is of profound inherent rationality and inevitability, and will continue to exist in the foreseeable future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：rank first

批改：exercising alone 是单数概念，谓语动词应为 ranks

原文：The bar chart apparently mirrors a wide difference in terms of the way residents choose to exercise. The bar chart consists of four sectors, among which exercising alone rank first, accounting for 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends (47.7%), exercising with family (23.9%) and exercising with teammates (15.8%)

批改：本段成功引出了图表的核心数据，信息点完整。

原文：The bar chart informs us of the phenomenon that people in mounting numbers choose to exercise alone and I believe there are several fundamental factors to account for the above-mentioned changes. First and foremost, with the rapid development of the national economy, people"s living standards have improved accordingly. As a result, a growing number of people have a strong demand for building a healthier body. Regarding all factors, exercise alone is the most convenient way to make it.

批改：逻辑清晰，表达明确

原文： basic

批改： “basic” 为形容词，需改为名词形式 “basis”

原文：s in science and technology have provided a technical foundation for the basic of exercising properly by oneself

批改：此句表达冗长且论点模糊。“科技进步”与“独自正确锻炼”之间的逻辑链条不清晰，未能提供具体例证（如健身App、在线教学视频），导致说服力不足。参考Fitness apps and online video tutorials offer guided workouts and personalized plans, making it easier than ever to exercise properly alone.

原文：ubstantially facilitate the flow and intensification of certain awareness, thus ac

批改：未能清晰说明是何种“意识”(awareness) 以及它如何具体导致人们选择独自锻炼，与图表现象的关联度弱，参考修改：Additionally, social media platforms amplify fitness awareness, where influencers often promote individual workout routines, further popularizing this trend.

批改：本段尝试从多个角度分析，体现了思维的广度。后两个原因的论述与“独自锻炼流行”这一现象的联系，论证显得有些笼统，可以再加强一下，语言不错，注意细节

批改：本段功能完整，对趋势进行了总结和预测。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/15分

本文结构完整，清晰地描述了图表数据，并展现了从多个角度分析问题的意识。在语言上，作者具备使用复杂词汇和句式的意愿和能力。文章的主要优化空间在于原因论证部分的深度和针对性。第二个和第三个原因目前稍显宽泛和理论化，未能与“独自锻炼”这一具体现象形成紧密的逻辑闭环。建议将论证具体化，例如，将“科技发展”落实到“健身APP和在线教程让独自训练更科学”，将“社交媒体”落实到“健身博主的分享激发了个人锻炼的兴趣”，这样可以使文章逻辑更严谨，说服力更强。整体还是写的很不错的，细节优化一下，作文质量会更好，继续加油~

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。