作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2021年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语二写作技巧常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of four different ways in which the citizens in a certain city did physical exercise. Specifically, exerciseing alone represented the highest proportion with 54.3%, followed closely by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Besides, exercising with family and join in group activities accounted for lower percentages, with 23.9% and 15.8%，respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, owing to the ever-increasing pressure from work and family, more citizens view fitness as an opportunity to improve their health and release stress, as a result of which a majority of them preferred to work out alone. In addition, busier work and demanding daily tasks have made it impossible for citizens to hang out with their friends as often as they did, meaning that doing exercise together has become a trendy activity for modern people to strengthen their friendships.

In all, the situation reflected in the chart is representative of the scenario in many places. It is my sincere hope that more people can engage in sports activities, so that they can have more balanced and healthy lives.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e bar chart illustrates the percentage of four different ways in which the citizens in a certain city did physical exercise. Specifically, exerciseing alone represented the highest proportion with 54.3%, followed closely by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Besides, exercising with family and join in group activities accounted for lower percentages, with 23.9% and 15.8%，respectively.

批改：你对图表数据的概括非常出色，使用了“illustrates", "Specifically", "represented the highest proportion", "followed closely by", "accounted for"等一系列专业且地道的表达，数据呈现清晰、有层次。

原文：exerciseing alone

批改：...exerciseing alone... 这里有一个小小的拼写错误，动名词形式应为 exercising。

原文：nd join in grou

批改：...and join in group activities... 为了与前面“exercising with family”的动名词结构保持平行一致，这里应改为 and joining group activities..

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, owing to the ever-increasing pressure from work and family, more citizens view fitness as an opportunity to improve their health and release stress, as a result of which a majority of them preferred to work out alone. In addition, busier work and demanding daily tasks have made it impossible for citizens to hang out with their friends as often as they did, meaning that doing exercise together has become a trendy activity for modern people to strengthen their friendships.

批改：你从“释放压力”和“维系友谊”两个角度分析原因，逻辑清晰，视角独特。论证非常有力，体现了你很强的逻辑拓展能力。

原文：all, the situation reflected in the chart is representative of the scenario in many places. It is my sincere hope that more people can engage in sports activities, so that they can have more balanced and healthy lives.

批改：

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13

你的这篇作文在内容和语言质量上都达到了很高的水准：

内容与结构：完整、准确地描述了图表信息，并从两个深刻的层面分析了原因，结论积极向上。

词汇与语法：大量且准确地使用了图表描述和议论的高级词汇与复杂句型，显示出优秀的语言驾驭能力。

衔接与连贯：使用“To start with", "In addition", "as a result of which"等衔接手段，文章逻辑流畅，层次分明。

目前存在的仅是个别细微的语法和用词问题，丝毫不影响理解，展现了优秀的综合能力。

总评与修改建议：

你的作文的原因分析段写得极为出彩。你没有停留在表面，而是深入到了现代都市人的生活与情感需求层面，指出“一起运动”已成为一种珍贵的社交仪式，这个见解非常深刻，是你的核心优势。

建议你关注、：

保持全局一致性：在写作时，留意一下全篇的动词时态，确保它们都在描述同一个时间范畴内（如图表现状多用一般现在时）。这是通向地道英文书写的最后一步。

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