思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2021年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

In the picture, a boy in the Monkey King costume tells his father that many of his classmates find it boring to learn

traditional Chinese opera Aren"t you yourself fond of it? That is all that matters," his father replies in a tone of encouragement.

The picture is aimed at inspiring us to chase our passions and dreams regardless of what others may say. The original

purpose of pursuing a hobby or a dream is by no means to please others but to lead ourselves to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.lt is thus totally unnecessary for us to hesitate

to do what we enjoy for fear of disapproval from others.Admittedly, remaining open to constructive advice is conducive to our growth and future success.But we will never be able to take charge of our own destiny if we are easily swayed by throwaway or even biased remarks of others.

To sum up,having a distinctive hobby is nothing to be ashamed of.Different strokes for different folks after all.Instead of giving in to pressure to follow the herd,we should

be determined and courageous to stick to what we feel enthusiastic about.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改："Aren"t you yourself fond of it?"：此句作为直接引语，应置于引号内

批改：本段成功再现了图画中的关键场景和对话，要素齐全，注意小小细节质量会更高。

原文：The picture is aimed at inspiring us to chase our passions and dreams regardless of what others may say.

批改：开篇点题，准确概括了图画目的。

原文：he original purpose of pursuing a hobby or a dream is by no means to please others but to lead ourselves to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.lt is thus totally unnecessary for us to hesitate to do what we enjoy for fear of disapproval from others.

批改：论证推进有力，从“目的”自然过渡到“行动建议”。

原文：The picture is aimed at inspiring us to chase our passions and dreams regardless of what others may say. The original purpose of pursuing a hobby or a dream is by no means to please others but to lead ourselves to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.lt is thus totally unnecessary for us to hesitate to do what we enjoy for fear of disapproval from others.Admittedly, remaining open to constructive advice is conducive to our growth and future success.But we will never be able to take charge of our own destiny if we are easily swayed by throwaway or even biased remarks of others.

批改：本段逻辑层次清晰，从“揭示目的”到“鼓励行动”，再到“让步补充”和“反面论证”，层层递进，思辨性强。语言上成功运用了多种复杂结构和高级词汇，展现了优秀的议论能力。

原文：To sum up,having a distinctive hobby is nothing to be ashamed of.Different strokes for different folks after all.Instead of giving in to pressure to follow the herd,we should be determined and courageous to stick to what we feel enthusiastic about.

批改：本段有效总结了全文，重申核心观点，并提出最终建议。语言精炼，用词地道。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20分

本文是一篇不错的作文，尤其在内容的深度和论证的成熟度上表现突出。文章结构完整，严格遵循了题目指令。第二段的论证是其最大亮点，展现了深刻的思辨能力和地道的语言表达，契合考研英语一大作文对议论深度的要求。主要失分点在于第一段描述部分的细节问题。若能修正这些细节，文章将更具竞争力。继续加油~

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2021年考研英语一范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。