进入冲刺阶段，每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例，由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批，已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生，都能从中找到提分灵感。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture,there is a group of graduates,standing on the crossing,and selecting different roads,which is including job hunting,entrepreneurship,studying abroad,and taking postgraduate entrance exam.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that it is many options play a role in our life,whether they are right or wrong.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,It means we have various options for us to choose from,we can choose the life that we like. On the other hand,In this situation,many people,driven by herd mentality,simply follow the crowd and end up on a way that is wrong for them.

In brief,The various paths is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should enhance our ability to think for ourselves,understand what truly suits us,and so choose the paths that is right for us.Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： shown in the picture,there is a group of graduates,standing on the crossing,and selecting different roads,which is including job hunting,entrepreneurship,studying abroad,and taking postgraduate entrance exam.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that it is many options play a role in our life,whether they are right or wrong.

批改：本段成功描述了图画并引出了核心议题

原文： it is man

批改：“it is many options play a role” 是一个常见的句式错误，应简化为 “many options play a role” 或 “it is the availability of many options that plays a role”。

原文：s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,It means we have various options for us to choose from,we can choose the life that we like. On the other hand,In this situation,many people,driven by herd mentality,simply follow the crowd and end up on a way that is wrong for them.

批改：本段的正反论证思路非常出色，特别是提出“herd mentality”（从众心理）这一点，很有洞察力。

原文：,It means we have

批改：It means we have various options for us to choose from,we can choose the life that we like.” 这是两个完整句子用逗号连接的错误（ comma splice），应改为 “This means we have various life paths to choose from.”

原文：brief,The various paths is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should enhance our ability to think for ourselves,understand what truly suits us,and so choose the paths that is right for us.Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

批改：结尾段总结有力，并提出了“增强独立思考能力”这一非常棒的解决方案。

原文：he various paths is t

批改：主谓一致：“The various paths is” 中，主语是复数，谓语动词应为 “are”。“choose the paths that is” 同样存在主谓一致错误，应为 “paths that are”。

原文：and so choose

批改：“and so choose” 中的 “so” 是多余的，可以删除

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证深刻。主要的提升空间在于语法结构的精准把握，如主谓一致和句子结构。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你深刻的洞察力和辩证的思维。你不仅能描述现象，更能犀利地指出“从众心理”这一潜在陷阱，并提出“独立思考”的解决方案

当前，我们可以集中精力提升语法的精细度。你的文章思想和框架都很出色，现在需要让句子的基础结构无懈可击。我的核心建议是：

巩固核心语法：请特别留意主谓一致和完整句子的构成。写作时稍加留意，或写完后专门检查一遍动词和主语是否匹配，就能有效提升文章的准确性。

优化逻辑连接词：在正反论证时，可以尝试使用 “While...”, “However,”, “Conversely,” 等词，让转折和对比关系更鲜明。

专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务，针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后，欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育，享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。